Lalala making cruddy and pointless character concept lalala…
Seriously I can never seem to shake off that “Disney” or “DC” animated look at all. He looks like some kinda evil version of Roger Radcliffe grrr.This is whyexactly
I’m laughing so hard because it’s kind of really true
And cuz now I will read all his posts in this characters voice
Oh my god.
I mean I’d love to have you as a guest, Galli, unless I don’t count as a cool person.
Bright can come, too.
But Mr. Essacly is definitely not invited.
What if I wasn’t quite so… nice?
Do you think you’d like that,
just for a little while?
You?
Nice?
You know, I felt bad for not sending you a message on your birthday, especially after the rather high standard I set for myself last year.
So I did some brainstorming with my cats who, incidentally, were curious about the removable nature of your tail and wondered why a kitty would want to be without her tail, like, ever… I tried to explain about the vibrating and the blah blah blah, but you can’t reason with cats.
So I did some brainstorming with my cats about what would be best for a belated type of birthday message. We shared some drinks on the rocks while the hellfire smouldered and decided that it might be fun to throw you a surprise party!
But clearly an ordinary surprise party would only be appropriate for an ordinary girl and since you’re anything but ordinary we thought that maybe we could make it a ‘Surprise! I know you just woke up naked and chained, but we’re all here to celebrate and we need some drinks so be a good girl and don’t make a fuss’ kind of surprise party. Wouldn’t that be fun?
But then I remembered this unfortunate incident…
…and so I got to digging though my drafts folder (which is only slightly larger than all of tumblr) in order to find a more suitable birthday tribute idea, and fortunately I found one! Think of it like a pattern for the prettiest little summery dress, but adapted to something a little more your style. Maybe Mr. Craftsmate, handy as we all know him to be, could help you make it?
I hope you enjoy it. I’d suggest adding some wheels.
Happy Birthday Ivy. I hope 2014 treats you better than I do. 😉
Mr. Why Ess-acly
—-
Oh my gosh you big meanie.
And none for Mr. Why Essacly.
That time Mr. Craftsmate helped Ivy move into her new apartment:
He read the paper, nursed a bottle of whiskey, and occasionally paused to comment on how quiet the new place was, and how great her ass looked in that dress, as she scrubbed the floor.
“Go on, don’t be shy,” he urged. “Tell the man what you want.“
"Could I have a glass of milk, please?” She flushed bright red and stared at the floor when the bartender handed her a pint glass, full almost to the rim, topped with a maraschino cherry skewered on one of those little pink swords.
“What do you say, sweetheart?”
“Th-th-thank you mister.”
1. Most ridiculous/embarrassing thing you’ve done on a dare.
I knocked on someone’s door with my pants down and asked for peanut butter. Fortunately, it was a room of girls who understood it was a dare, but didn’t have any peanut butter to give me.
2. Something that’s turned you on by surprise and caught you off guard.
Latex. I used to think it was so tacky and costumey and yet…
3. Favourite drink (booze or no booze, some of you are only toddlers and shouldn’t be drinking anything but milk, water, and juice, after all.)
Gin and tonic.
4. What were you afraid of as a kid? Still afraid of it now?
Heights. Not nearly as much as I used to be, thankfully. But Craftsmate took me on one of our first dates to like this tall edifice to watch the sunset and the whole time I was kind of freaked out.
5. Favourite little food? Do you eat non-finger foods with your hands?
Cookies for sure. And I eat broccoli with my hands if I’m alone sometimes because I guess I am still not over feeling like a dinosaur.
6. True or false: One-piece swimsuits are best for you littles. (think: better for play, and little-kid tan lines, etc…)
False, I’m precocious.
7. What’s a fantasy that gets you super turned on, but which is totally impractical to arrange in real life?
The whole like getting kidnapped and forced to be someone’s slave, chained to the radiator, blah blah. But, I have zero desire to engage in an abduction that elaborate and I want to have an actual life, soooo.
8. Do you print or write in cursive? Pen, pencil, crayon, or other?
I print in pen.
9. Tell us about your favourite pair of underwear. What do they look like and why are they your favourites?
They’re blue, have deer on the front and the back is lace. Need I say more?
10. Tell us about a childhood memory that guides your littleness now.
Honestly, I wasn’t very “Little” when I was a child. I took myself a little too seriously and got told a lot that I was an “old soul.” So I never really associate being little with my childhood.
11. What’s the first sex/porn/turned-you-on-for-some-reason website that you can remember not being able to take your eyes off of?
There was this website with all this kinky lesbian erotica on it that I found a little too early. It was smart, cheeky and helped me sort some things out.
Bonus: Arf! Arf! or meeeeow?
Hehe. Take a wild guess.
Well now that I need to go hide that dress.
Would that little see-through dress that
embarrassed her in high school
become one of his favourite means
of showing off his special girl?
untitled by Patricija Stepanovic on Flickr.
