So, I’ve got a pet peeve against men who say they get nothing out of cunnilingus.

If that’s your opinion, then I suppose you don’t mind if I don’t give you blowjobs since I, according to your logical progression, get nothing out of that. What? That’s not right? You want your beejs?


First of all, men who don’t get anything out of cunnilingus aren’t doing it right. Because you’re totally in control of the pleasure she’s receiving. All those little moans and squeaks and gasps she’s making are because of you. And when, or if, she orgasms is entirely up to you. Her experience is yours to dole out.

Second, it’s just something nice to do for someone you care about. It shows they matter. It shows that them having a lovely experience matters to you. And that causes a lovely little feedback loop in which you benefit from her realization that you care about her enjoying herself.

So, yeah, you can get stuff out of cunnilingus. So either quit your yapping or stop asking for head. 



Sufficiently Deviant: The abduction of Ivy


Sufficiently Deviant: The abduction of Ivy

What, if anything, could an older guy do with you, or to you, perhaps, during sex to make you change your major, right then and there? Having far too many degrees in Social Sciences, I’ve wondered what a woman could do to alter my life path like that.


There are so much unusual specifics in this question. An older guy during sex. I’d really sincerely hope that sex with me would inspire something besides a frank discussion about my career choices.

That being said, quesadillas and guava juice. Or sincere, unassuming cunnilingus. Or both. Because I was taught to dream big.


“We have power, you and I
But what good is that now
We could build a new world
If we only knew how
And we find we’re alone
We are old, you and I
We beg warmth from the sun
In the dreams that we dream
We ask what have done
And we find we’re alone.” – Jacques Brel, Alone (“Seul”).


So, I bought the dress that Sasha’s wearing from modcloth at the end of last year, not knowing this picture existed. I’m saving it for a special occasion, but oh my gosh. Sasha Grey and I have the same taste in dresses. I’ve got to do this biddy justice when I wear it.


Being undressed by someone else can be an incredibly sobering experience. Especially when they go excruciatingly slow, in which case you’re forced to adjust to their pace and accept the fact that you cannot simply raise your hands and throw your shirt off. The ball’s in their court, so to speak, the game’s in their hands. 

To pose a question, what is it that you think of when you just really want to get off?


Hm. It’s time for a bulleted list.

  • Past sexual encounters.
  • Porn I’ve watched but I’m too lazy to go hunting for again.
  • Same for porn I’ve read. Erotica, what have you.
  • Spankings.
  • Being used from behind, one hand over my mouth, one hand/crook of the elbow around my throat.
  • A vague blackmail fantasy I have that’s basically impossible to carry out for real. So it lives in my head.
  • Same for this one abduction fantasy.
  • Knifeplay.
  • Interrogation scenes.
  • This really filthy scenario involving a roll or two of bondage tape and a buttplug with a little bell on it.
  • Submitting to a couple and being used between them/general threesome situations.
  • Certain things the thief has called me/said to me.
  • This one sex dream I had where SG tied me up and fucked my ass.
  • Eating a girl out/being eaten out.
  • Being teased to orgasm excruciatingly slowly and then having to beg for it.
  • Having a virtually always available girl to just keep around to mess around with.
  • Something involving rednecks. (God, what is wrong with me?)
  • A good chunk of the novel Atlas Shrugged. Once again, I have no shame.

As someone with an upstairs neighbour who I blush when I see in case he’s heard the sound of me being cropped through my ceiling / his floor what’s your best advice on overcoming the challenge of thin walls? (I’m angling for more than ‘be quiet’ ;))


Gags. Covering things with blankets. Buying a t-shirt that says “get some headphones, prude”.

I honestly have a lot of problems with my neighbor being a little bit judgmental about me making noises through the walls. I used to just sort of blush and avoid her, but whatever. She’s never confronted me about it directly so she can handle it. I’m not changing my lifestyle for her biphobic bullcrap agenda.

If the guy hasn’t filed a compliant, odds are 1) he’s going to freaking deal with it or 2) he likes it. Assume it’s the second and proceed proudly.

<3, Ivy