You know, I felt bad for not sending you a message on your birthday, especially after the rather high standard I set for myself last year.

So I did some brainstorming with my cats who, incidentally, were curious about the removable nature of your tail and wondered why a kitty would want to be without her tail, like, ever… I tried to explain about the vibrating and the blah blah blah, but you can’t reason with cats.

So I did some brainstorming with my cats about what would be best for a belated type of birthday message. We shared some drinks on the rocks while the hellfire smouldered and decided that it might be fun to throw you a surprise party!

But clearly an ordinary surprise party would only be appropriate for an ordinary girl and since you’re anything but ordinary we thought that maybe we could make it a ‘Surprise! I know you just woke up naked and chained, but we’re all here to celebrate and we need some drinks so be a good girl and don’t make a fuss’ kind of surprise party. Wouldn’t that be fun?

But then I remembered this unfortunate incident…

…and so I got to digging though my drafts folder (which is only slightly larger than all of tumblr) in order to find a more suitable birthday tribute idea, and fortunately I found one! Think of it like a pattern for the prettiest little summery dress, but adapted to something a little more your style. Maybe Mr. Craftsmate, handy as we all know him to be, could help you make it?

I hope you enjoy it. I’d suggest adding some wheels.

Happy Birthday Ivy. I hope 2014 treats you better than I do. 😉

Mr. Why Ess-acly

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Oh my gosh you big meanie.