He’s taunting me about bringing a few surprises when he arrives later today. You all should know there is nothing I hate more ardently than surprises. I don’t like being out of the loop. I don’t like feeling like something is coming and not being sure how I will react to it. Bleh. No.

I was pouting and insisting he tell me when he replied, “some things are for you to wonder and for me to know.”



Tonight is the last night I sleep alone before Sir visits.

And tomorrow I’ll be up past my bedtime for an entirely different reason.

It’s been too long.


Halfway There, Part Twelve

My mind was moving a thousand miles a minute and I could barely process what was happening as I strode into the kitchen. There was a weird disconnect between what was going on in my head and how I was behaving. Outwardly, I was confident, quick, maybe a little cruel. Inside, I was nervous. My jaw was shaking.

“Now, where’s the bowl you’re supposed to piss in?” I asked, picking up a collander that was on the counter. “Sure hope this isn’t it, huh? That would be embarrassing." 

I knew that I couldn’t actually make her piss into the a bowl. For all the bravado, I was kind of petrified. The only time I’ve ever been this dominant was with Switch, and it was after I’d known him for a while. This was more performative, more new. I was scared at any second I’d fail at maintaining the facade and would totally drop out of character.

Meanwhile, Lida was whimpering and setting a bowl on the floor. I sucked in a deep breath and pointed to the bathroom door, "get in there, you’ll piss in the tub.”

“Okay,” she replied, getting to her feet.

“Okay?” I repeated. “Honestly, are you kidding me? I’m being nice to you and you’ve got the most piss-poor manners. What do you say to me?”

“I have to pee,” she stammered.

“You say ‘please,’ ‘thank you,’ and ‘I’m sorry.’ That’s all I want to hear from you,” I ordered.

She shifted from side to side. “Okay.”

I looked over to Flint, “is she fucking stupid or something? I told her what to say and she still doesn’t say it.” He chuckled. I motioned to the bathroom once more, “get in there, would you?”

Lida scrambled over to the bathroom. Flint shot me a smirk and I just shrugged, winking before following Lida inside.


That time spambots randomly reproduced worthlessrapemeat but, oh yeah, actually weren’t graced with my presence.



Some days you have like 10,000 things to get done but instead you help your friend move after work and then dance in her empty apartment with her and her boyfriend to “Partition.”

And those days, you’ve made the right decision.






 compliments don’t get people killed. 


My life is so crazy right now, but I’m holding out for a little bit of this kind of time very, very soon.


This is at the top of the list of stuff we need to do when Sir comes and visits.


Guys guys guys guys.

Sir is coming for Labor Day and staying the week.

Oh my gosh I’m so excited I can barely hold it together.