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I can’t fall asleep for the life of me and Pup is totally out. So it’s just me and his dog lying awake like quiet night buddies because for some reason he’s up, too.

So, you know, if they aren’t totally out of style, send me asks or something.

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Guys Pup and I were just lying in bed and kind of rubbing on each other and cuddling and teasing each other and talking dirty, but he’s like half asleep. And he suddenly goes, “yeah, do you think about that when I do things like conduct a train?” And he literally kind of snaps out of it and goes, “what did I just say?” BUT THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE.

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tardisity:

everybody you have ever met came out of a vagina screaming in fear

Yo not me I was not of woman born

like straight up macduffin’ it

like, you know, a c-section

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Uh, Pup…

(You know why.)

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mynamesdiana:

ogchoppa:

Female will go on dates with you just because they’re hungry. They don’t even like you. 

and guys will have sex with u just cause they’re horny, they won’t even like u so

YO I AM HUNGRY BECAUSE I AM GETTING PAID 82 CENTS ON SOME WHITE DUDE’S DOLLAR SO MAYBE I WOULDN’T EAT DINNER WITH THEIR BORING ASSES IF I COULD AFFORD MORE GROCERIES

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delrey4ever:

Requested: Lana Del Rey photographed by James White for Madame Figaro.