My whole life.

Thank you, montecervesa, for this hilarious gif.



This one not so much.

So, I now have the wee bittiest crush on Kayden Kross.

Which actually means I have a gigantic crush on Kayden Kross and I want to ride away into the sunset with her on her beautiful horse.




Well, tumblrinas, I have a dilemma. And I figure so many of you post “oh, oh, oh, you can ask me advice about anything” and I need an unbiased opinion. So, here goes.

I honestly don’t see myself continuing this summer at the job I am in. My boss is a family friend, but has been taking advantage by underpaying me. Moreover, she’s homophobic, racist, senile, and just honestly impossible to deal with. Even though I explained that I can’t go out in the sun for the rest of the summer because I had the thing removed from my face, she is insisting that I sit outside for half an hour every day once it heals, which she figures will be a week. A half an hour in the sun every day. Because “it doesn’t look that bad”.

There’s a potential that I could have another, much higher-paying, much more relevant to my interests job. However, I have known this woman since I was a small child and she has been guilt-tripping me about how much she needs me. But, I really, honestly do not see myself working there the whole summer and staying sane. She changes my hours (in very drastic ways) without a moment’s notice at the last minute and with no regard for any other plans I may have, her personality is infectiously negative, and she does really tricky things with my pay to avoid some taxes but also to avoid actually paying me what I deserve. But, once again, she’s been in my life for a very long time, she needs me, she’s a family friend, I know she cares about me.

So, what do I do? Do I see if I can take this new job and leave? Do I just leave immediately and then find work? Or do I stick it out for the summer? 


The teensy tiny little girly part of me sort of wants this.

Provided it locks.

From the outside.


Probably the part of my forays into puppy play that has had the largest impact is having to eat something off the floor.

It’s also, pretty much, one of the few things I do. I’ve never worn a tail. Barking makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Besides leashes and collars, the only puppy play-esque stuff I’ve done is being made to eat out of a bowl on the floor.

It’s indescribably humbling. You make a mess. You wind up with more than half of it on your face. The first time I tried, it was yogurt. On my cheeks, on my chin, on the tip of my nose. I had to wait for the person dominating me to clean it off. I wasn’t allowed to speak, I wasn’t allowed to stand up. I felt more helpless than I had some times that I had spent tied up.



Lena Dunham Remembers Nora Ephron:

Her advice was unparalleled. At one of our lunches this past January, I was sheepishly describing a male companion’s lack of support for my professional endeavors. She nodded in a very “don’t be stupid” way, as if I already knew what I had to do: “You can’t possibly meet someone right now. When I met Nick, I was already totally notorious”—note: Nora was the only person who could make that word sound neither braggy nor sinister—“and he understood exactly what he was getting into. You can’t meet someone until you’ve become what you’re becoming.” Panicked, I asked, “How long will that take?”

Nora considered a moment. “Give it six months.”

This woman was such an inspiration. She will be dearly, dearly missed.

M’s Infernal Cabinet of Desire: One


M’s Infernal Cabinet of Desire: One