I haven’t been in a harness in forever.
drawing
Valentine, Part Six
Guys, I wish I could tell you this story ended on a sexy note. I wish I could say that this super hot threesome had a super hot conclusion. And part of the reason I’ve held up on writing the conclusion is that it unfortunately did not end in fireworks.
No. It ended in me getting punched in the vulva.
Here’s the thing about threesomes: it’s multiple bodies in a space. Shit can happen. You can accidentally neglect a person, or you can find it awkward to figure out who to touch when. You can run out of space or bump heads or roll off the bed. Or you can end up with someone’s knuckles colliding with your pubis. Which really hurts, guys.
But I think it’s important I share this, because this is how sex is. Sex is not a always beautifully orchestrated dance, it’s sometimes a lot of weird grinding or some fumbling. There’s sometimes some weird casualties. You can enthusiastically consent and have all your safewords at the ready and stuff can still go wrong. Sex is sometimes clumsy and weird even if the person you’re with is suave and collected. Sex has all kinds of strange sounds and smells. Sometimes sex is just straight up hilarious.
Sometimes you end up laugh-crying into your partners’ shoulder while they laugh-console you and the other laugh-apologizes. Because you accidentally elbowed someone in the ribs or kneed them in the stomach or, you know, got cuntpunched.
Sex in movies is quick, effortless, serious. Sex in most porn isn’t all that different. And I think the main thing I’ve learned in my less-than-a-decade of being sexually active is that sex is this totally unpredictable encounter that can tip over into slapstick, into the specific hilarity of the human body. And I’m okay with that.
Though I’d like to keep the whole getting accidentally punched in the groin thing to a minimum.
A tie by John Willie that he describes as follows:
This tie keeps her arms and hands bound tightly at her sides, but otherwise she is free to move normally. It is very secure and one that even Houdini did not like. It is easy to do, but a little difficult to describe. You drape a long cord round the back of the neck with the two ends falling over the shoulders in front (see fig. 1). It doesn’t go around the throat but is just draped over the neck. Then you bring the ends back under the arm pits (2–F), cross over in the middle of the back near the waist (2–B), around in front again (2–F) and then back between the thighs (2–B) and up to the wrists (3). The only time the rope is crossed is in the middle of the back. You pull it as tight as you can and tie it to each wrist separately as they are held close together in back (3). You then pull the ends around the thighs (4–B, thus pulling the wrists apart until each one is resting just back of the thighs and tie the cord in front (4–F).
The advantage of this “wrap around” tie is that no matter how the body twists or turns it does not get slack anywhere. It is like a skimpy bra-and-G- string costume in which she can perform all sorts of contortions and her breasts will stay in and not fall out.
If a clove hitch is tied around each wrist the more the captive struggles the tighter it will become. In addition it is quite impossible to move the hands around, one further back and the other further in front. When this has been done you simply tie a cord as tightly around the waist and arms as you can and that is that (4–B & F).
To make this even tighter and more secure tie a cord to the one at the back of the neck (5) and then pass it around the one that goes around the waist and arms, pulling tight so the cord at the neck is dragged down a bit and the one around the arms up a bit. Then carry on down to the wrists. Now here you pass it around the cord to, say, the left wrist, between the wrist and where it disappears between the legs (5) and then under the other cord which goes to the right wrist. Then pull up to tie it at the cord around the elbows again (6). This should draw the cord at the elbows down a bit nearer to its original position and pull the one at the back of the neck automatically down further It also draws the cords which come from between the legs to the wrists close together and the higher up they are drawn together the tighter they will be around the wrists and the tighter up between the legs.
Going on a date tonight with a guy that seems super cool.
But blahhh.
Current status.
That Time Pup Was Celibate For a Little Bit, Part Two
I didn’t want to cross any boundaries or make stuff awkward, so I tried to give Pup space. However, this was a little impossible when he kept turning up everywhere. I encountered him on the street, on campus, on the way back from running errands.
It’s really hard to maintain boundaries when the person won’t just disappear. Even harder when you’re attracted to them and you’re trying to be very good and you don’t want to get involved in their breakup sadness because you’ve got to take care of yourself, too. And it’s especially hard when your tendency is to want to care for other people, but this is just totally not the time or place.
So, when Pup asked me to join him to get coffee and study together, I decided to make sure we were in a public place where basic boundaries could be maintained. Because, yeah. You can’t say I didn’t try.
Yes.
Last night, I brought one of my best friends in my “vanilla” circle to a munch.
I was super nervous about the whole thing. I’d never truly mixed those two friend groups before besides bringing Pup to a party once. So, I wasn’t sure what she’d make of my kinky friends, and I wasn’t sure if this was too much throwing her into the fire after she’d admitted to me that she might be a switch and wanted to see the community.
However, she held her own wonderfully. I did my best to sort of shield her from some of the creepier dudes, so she ended up hitting it off with (what I consider to be) some of the best people I know in that community.
She was also super, super tolerant of the more relaxed attitudes towards overt sexuality that the group has. She didn’t flinch when worthlessrapemeat showed off some of her photographs, and even offered some of her own (!!!!) up to the group.
But the highlight of the evening was probably when we were talking to some people about preferences (I had to cutely remind her that the word she was looking for was “switch”) and I identified as, “about 99% submissive.” Her jaw dropped and she exclaimed rather loudly, “YOU’RE the sub? With him?” He pointed to Pup and I nodded. Suddenly, her eyes got even wider. “With…with CRAFTSMATE?!”
“You know,” I teased Pup, “she thought you’re my sub. Maybe she’s onto something.”
Later on, Pup ended up showing her (with my permission) a photo of me tied up on my bed. (Yeah I know I’ve got to catch you guys up on him and I. Patience!) I was clothed, curled up and my face was covered by my hair, so it wasn’t quite blushy enough to make me die on the spot. She smiled and looked over at me, “it’s so different to see you like that. It’s kind of nice.”
So, several of Flint’s partners have gotten colds over the past few days.
Of course, he’s not showing any symptoms.
And, of course, I’ve got a stuffy nose and a sore throat.
This is the definition of #polyproblems.
We kink on the whole 1950s household dynamic like woah.