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Is it weird that I find the way that guy is touching her arm and holding her hand to be hotter than the fact that there’s a guy licking her pussy?

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Sir went to an event recently with some of the people from the New Year’s Party we went to. I’m glad he’s building a community. He’s really all about building a community and going to munches and talking to people.

I kind of just prefer taking my clothes off in a crowded room and getting to know people that way. I’m not as good at subtlety, I guess. Or small talk.

Happy Belated Birthday.

Standard

You know, I felt bad for not sending you a message on your birthday, especially after the rather high standard I set for myself last year.

So I did some brainstorming with my cats who, incidentally, were curious about the removable nature of your tail and wondered why a kitty would want to be without her tail, like, ever… I tried to explain about the vibrating and the blah blah blah, but you can’t reason with cats.

So I did some brainstorming with my cats about what would be best for a belated type of birthday message. We shared some drinks on the rocks while the hellfire smouldered and decided that it might be fun to throw you a surprise party!

But clearly an ordinary surprise party would only be appropriate for an ordinary girl and since you’re anything but ordinary we thought that maybe we could make it a ‘Surprise! I know you just woke up naked and chained, but we’re all here to celebrate and we need some drinks so be a good girl and don’t make a fuss’ kind of surprise party. Wouldn’t that be fun?

But then I remembered this unfortunate incident

…and so I got to digging though my drafts folder (which is only slightly larger than all of tumblr) in order to find a more suitable birthday tribute idea, and fortunately I found one! Think of it like a pattern for the prettiest little summery dress, but adapted to something a little more your style. Maybe Mr. Craftsmate, handy as we all know him to be, could help you make it?

I hope you enjoy it. I’d suggest adding some wheels.

Happy Birthday Ivy. I hope 2014 treats you better than I do. 😉

Mr. Why Ess-acly

—-

Oh my gosh you big meanie.

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nankingdecade:

“Why can’t I dress up and be classy like the other girls?” she had whined.

We had a pretty elaborate conversation about this sort of scenario after I saw this.

Let’s just say I was inspired.

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True story: I think about being the party bitch sometimes. Having things served off of me, carrying trays, being forbidden from wearing a single stitch of clothing. I’d simultaneously enjoy and despise being left to the whims of a nicely dressed, otherwise bored gathering of people.

nanking-decade:

She hates being thrown into the pot as collateral, since he wasn’t a good poker player to begin with.

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Happy New Year’s Eve, followers.

However you choose to celebrate it,

may you be the fairest maid of them all.

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I’m out for the night with some pretty awesome plans. Hopefully, it will be considerably better than the teensy fiasco earlier this week. 

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New Year’s Eve: Part 1

My very close friend invited me to her place for a party for New Year’s. I realized I wouldn’t know anyone besides her there, so I called one of my oldest and closest friends, Drew. Drew and I grew up together and I consider him one of the best people in my life. I was happy to bring him along because he knows the hostess and he’s also a blast to party with.

However.

He invited along a very close friend of his, Walter. I have no issue with Walter as a person. He’s incredibly good-looking, a really nice guy, a fun person to be around. However, Walter is very close to one of my exes and I’m sure has heard all sorts of horrible things – true and untrue – about me. We’ve been to a lot of the same parties, but we’ve never really talked or made an effort to get to know each other.

But, the three of us looked smashing and we headed over to my friend’s to get the party on.

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The Holiday Party, Part 8

The top five moments of the night, according to Ren’s boyfriend:

5. Septum hooking up with the Ryan Gosling DJ.

4. Septum hooking up with Ren’s little sister and later declaring, as Ren tucked her into bed, “sorry, but your sister’s just so pretty”. (It was apparently a noodle kind of night. Septum’s totally straight.)

3. Noodlegirl’s boyfriend saying I was out to perform some “crazy lesbian ritual”.

2. Smoking with the neighbor.

1. My unabashed pursuit of Noodlegirl, which was, in his words, “noteworthy and something to aspire to”.

Oh, and Noodlegirl and I have spoken since. Take that.