ren – Ivy

The Holiday Party, Part 8

The top five moments of the night, according to Ren’s boyfriend:

5. Septum hooking up with the Ryan Gosling DJ.

4. Septum hooking up with Ren’s little sister and later declaring, as Ren tucked her into bed, “sorry, but your sister’s just so pretty”. (It was apparently a noodle kind of night. Septum’s totally straight.)

3. Noodlegirl’s boyfriend saying I was out to perform some “crazy lesbian ritual”.

2. Smoking with the neighbor.

1. My unabashed pursuit of Noodlegirl, which was, in his words, “noteworthy and something to aspire to”.

Oh, and Noodlegirl and I have spoken since. Take that.

The Holiday Party, Part 7

Ren soon came upstairs to add some levity to Noodlegirl’s date breathing down my neck and we all wound up having a nice smoke together. The issue of my host’s sexuality was settled: he’s straight! We all had a good laugh about it as Ren struggled between apologizing and dying of laughter over the situation.

Eventually, Noodlegirl’s date tried to drag her away, but she made him wait so she could write down her information for me and hand it over. I gave her a long hug and flashed him a million-dollar smile over her shoulder. Because you don’t screw around with us crazy ritualistic lesbians.

After they left, Ren looked over to me and said, “so, Septum’s asleep in my bed right now. You want to come downstairs and handle these munchies?”

It was an evening well-spent.

The Holiday Party, Part 6

“Wait, you’re smoking with my neighbor?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry…”

“No, no,” Ren said, “it’s awesome. I’ll be up in a few!”

Of course, who came busting through the door instead but Noodlegirl’s boyfriend. According to Ren later on that night, he had freaked out and claimed that I might be off performing some “crazy lesbian ritual” with her. What. The. Hell.

Seriously? One, she’s not his girlfriend. Two, she barely likes him. And, three, lesbian rituals? Really? Because every lesbian is a witch suddenly. It just sucks that there’s two ways to handle a bisexual girl at a party, she’s either trying to steal your girl or she’s there for you to watch and drool over. Ugh.

The Holiday Party, Part 1

Saturday night, my good friend hosted a holiday party at her apartment down where she goes to school. Originally, I wasn’t going to go because of the issue of travel and the like, but my good friend, Septum – who I have mentioned a bit on here without naming her – decided she was down, too. So, the two of us left our respective universities to head down and party it up with my friend. Let’s call her Ren.

We got down a little earlier and helped Ren, her boyfriend, and her roommates set up. The DJ she’d hired looked a lot like Ryan Gosling. It was a little uncanny.

“Does anybody else live in this building?” I asked. It was a smaller complex.

Ren’s boyfriend nodded, “yeah, two of the nicest gay guys ever live upstairs. I invited them. Maybe you’ll see them later.”

Septum was already hard at work on mixing some drinks when the first guests came and was being a little more than liberal with the rum. I joined her, but tried to pace myself. It was going to be a long night, in the best way possible.