My favorite animal being cute.
A gorgeous leg tattooed with a face that looks a little like mine.
Sounds about right.
Month: November 2012
In French, you don’t really say “I ate the pizza”, you say “Je suis devenu la pizza”, which is closer to “I am the pizza” or “I became the pizza”. I love that so much. You don’t just eat something. You absorb it into your atoms for the greater good of the hive stomach. If you eat the pizza, it just eats you back. Stop. Touch the pizza. You are the same.
Oh my gosh I cannot stop laughing. Somebody hold me.
Recently, the Redhead, Craftsmate and I were at an event with some readily available candles. We were all sort of goofing around about it, but we each wound up taking some afterwards for “personal use”. The shifty glances the three of us were giving each other were kind of priceless.
As the evening wound down, I shoved a bunch into Craftsmate’s shoulderbag.
“Did you take any for yourself?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t have my backpack, where would I put them?”
He smirked, “I have a few ideas where you can put them.”
Currently, they reside in the top lefthand drawer of my desk.
Mirror, mirror, on the floor – Who is the neediest little whore?”
Meeee.
Once a week, three friends and I meet up to watch movies. The cast of characters of the movie-watching group have wound up being:
- Craftsmate – The classmate who found my tumblr and proceeded to give me an identity crisis.
- That guy from my frat – A former hookup who has now become a rather good friend. And, much to my mixed dismay and amusement, has become friends with Craftsmate.
- The Redhead – A friend of mine who helps run a student organization with me. I have pretty solid evidence that she, along with everyone else in the room, is kinky as all get-out.
Sometimes, I glance around the room at them and try not to die from laughter or irony or whatever else. It’s strange how things work out, but I’m learning to be comfortable with the weirdness.
Use a banana and a mirror for blowjob training – the banana for enhancing your technique, and the mirror to check for yourself what looks great and what doesn´t.
This is actually vary dangerous.
If the soft sticky tip of the banana breaks off and gets logged in your throat it will be very difficult to dislodge it. Chances are you are practising while alone so if that happens you will most likely suffocate.
If your budget does not allow for a proper dildo and you have to use fruit. Do not peal your banana just wash the outside first or use a large carrot.
Or, I don’t know, practice giving a blowjob when you give a blowjob?
There’s this horrible double standard that people, though it is usually slanted towards women, have to be simultaneously inexperienced and yet somehow instantaneous experts at sex acts.
Unless you are blessed by the Ghost of Blowjobs Past, there’s absolutely no acceptable reason why you should be faulted or shamed for not giving a perfect blowjob the first time you give a blowjob. Or even the second time. Or even the fifteenth.
The fact is that everyone likes different things and a piece of fruit isn’t going to give you feedback on it. There’s absolutely no shame in gagging, in pacing yourself, in stepping back and trying to figure yourself out. You didn’t drive on a 75 mph speed limit highway the first time you got behind the wheel of a car. The Sistine Chapel was not Michelangelo’s first experience with paint.
Thank you inventerius for the safety tip, which is super important if someone actually does just sort of want to practice or finds that shit hot. But, if you’re practicing because you’re concerned that your technique isn’t perfect, I’m asking you to consider what kind of state society is in when we are expected to be sexual savants upon first blush.
Before I left to return to Ivy University, Penthouse gave me a little spanking. It was fun, playful, a little silly.
Thus, my visit to Penthouse land saga ends. Over a month after it happened. But you can’t fault me for taking my time with it.
But, now I’m stuck playing catchup on some hot stuff that’s happened in October and November that I’d like to write about for the dual purpose of this blog being the only semblance of a journal I can keep and because writing erotica for me is hot and fun.
So, yeah. Hope you enjoyed the details of my trip. There’s more fun to come.
Sometimes, play can be playful! Go figure! 🙂
Daddy makes me laugh, even while he’s paddling my butt.. <3
(Submission via myheadisfullofflames)
Penthouse and I tried puppy play.
The encounter was brief and it made me blush like no other.
My hands were taped up, my legs were folded double as to force me to hobble around on my knees, I was leashed and collared.
I haven’t had a lot of experience with the act and I’ve always been a little ashamed to admit that I like it.
But I really, really liked it.
They have to get creative with the squirmy ones.
Struggling with gift ideas this holiday season?
Searching for a way to give the lady in your life a Christmas surprise?
Stop by the Mally and Ivy Holiday Gift Wrap Emporium.
We provide discerning gift packaging for the man who wants to move beyond the cliched “Dick in a Box” concept into something with a classic, sophisticated feel.
Doesn’t your special lady deserve the best this holiday season?
Say it simply, with a bow.
I send Ms. Lair a picture of a penis with a bow on it and I wind up co-owner of an Emporium.
Go figure.
Tying red ribbons on penises is might be the best part-time job ever until Black Friday rolls around and then it’s just like I cannot keep up right now are you honestly going to wear that bow on your dick for a month what.