safety – Ivy

One of my favorite things about tumblr is the fact that I’ve made some really amazing friends on here. And one of which, the lovely mirrorscape, got into a cute conversation with me about a dirty version of Jenga inspired by Ashe Maree’s adorable Jenga gifset. Over the summer, I received a package from her, only to find she freaking MADE ME A DIRTY JENGA GAME.

Every block had a special task to do (she’d even consulted Sir for ideas!) and there were cute punishments for toppling the tower. Of course, the rules required consent, but in the absence of having fun consenting partners when this arrived back in the spring, it ended up just sitting on a shelf.

That is, until Pup and his girlfriend came over to hang out with Sir and I, and we ended up pouring some drinks and playing Dirty Jenga.

At the time, I’d only been out on two dates with Pup and I was still rather shy. What’s more, I’d never introduced Sir to one of my partners in my new city before, and I was totally worried about people actually getting along. And, on top of all that, I was fairly sure Pup’s girlfriend and I were on all right terms, but I was still kind of nervous navigating a friendship with a potential partner’s primary.

But, the game ended up being sufficiently fun and only about 15% awkward. A lot of the time, it was just the couples doing stuff to each other because we’re super boring and shy like that. At one point, I had to suck Southern Comfort out of Sir’s navel which is disgusting and honestly if you’re going to take a body shot out of somebody’s bellybutton pick something a little less saccharine and awful.

However, by the time we restacked the tower and went in for another round, we started getting a little braver. I got to slap Pup, which put this glint in his eyes that made me get all scared when I had to get slapped in return, but thankfully Pup’s girlfriend did the honors. I ended up getting spanked by Sir, then bit-gagged (wah), and Pup wound up getting blindfolded (but I think he was totally peeking whatever).

The third time around, I toppled the tower and got hogtied. I was super bashful about the whole thing and ended up hiding my face in Sir’s lap, and I wish that this is where stuff got majorly hot but instead this is where stuff got weird. Sir had used a ziptie to attach my wrists to my ankles, and Pup went to slice it off with his pocketknife when I started to get a little sore.

Suddenly, I felt something wet and warm on my back through my dress and I heard Pup’s girlfriend start freaking out. I wasn’t sure who’d been hurt, but we’d all been drinking a little bit and a knife legitimately should not have been brought out at this point (yes, this post is now a lecture on BDSM and safety).

Bottom line: Pup cut his thumb and had to get a couple of stitches. My dress somehow got ripped in the chaos that ensued. There was blood on the floor in my kitchen and, yeah, it was kind of the weirdest night ever.

So be safe, guys. Seriously.

bdsmsadomasochism:

Knife play is considered edge-play by many people and involves the use of knives, daggers, swords etc as a source of physical and mental stimulation. They can be made of various metals or even fiberglass reinforced plastic. Knives are typically used to cut away clothing, scratch skin, cut the skin, or provide sensual stimulation.

*Legally, knife play is considered assault with a deadly weapon*

Knife play can be physically and psychologically erotic. It is also an activity that takes a great amount of care to learn properly. As with any sort of play that can potentially draw blood, extra care needs to be taken around disease. Knife play can be a form of fear play. For example the bottom can be shown a sharp knife and then blindfolded, and a blunt knife used on their skin.

There are 2 different opinions on the sharpness of the blade you should use, especially when you are just starting out. Both are right and work. The duller the knife, the less likely it is to cut someone. However, if a cut is made, then it will be worse than if a sharper knife made the cut. The sharper the knife, the more careful you have to be and this translates into better safety while using the knife. However, since not as much pressure is needed to cut than with a duller knife, an accident is more likely to end up being a cut or puncture.

There are also some common misconceptions around knife play. Knife play isn’t necessarily about cutting, a lot of knife play is about scraping, touching, abrade and rubbing rather than cutting; in saying that cutting does come into some forms of knife play but doesn’t have to.

Technique

There are various techniques you can use to stimulate the bottom in the scene. It is down to your imagination. Here are some ideas:

Putting a knife in the freezer/bucket of ice, you can put a butter knife in the freezer and when you run this over the skin of the bottom it will feel like you are cutting them. If you combine this with other things such as showing your bottom a sharp knife, blindfolding them and then running the cold blade over their skin.

Role playing: again this comes down to the imagination of those involved. Both parties have to buy into the role play for it to be successful. Examples that can incorporate knife play well are interrogation, sacrifice, kidnap, rape, punishments

Another technique is to dip the blade in warm water before running it over the skin in a cutting motion, the warm water trickling onto the skin of the bottom can cause them to feel like they are bleeding.

Using a long blunt blade you can spank/slap your submissive.

Removing clothes with a knife can really help with the fear factor. It is important to note that the clothes you are cutting shouldn’t be ones you want to keep.

You can use the above techniques along with the other types of sensation play such as sensory deprivation.

Safety

Knives must always be in the best condition they can be. Blades should be cleaned before every play session. Wash both the handle and the blade by hand, cleaning can be as simple as rubbing it with a soft cloth, and oiling it lightly with mineral oil, (high carbon steel WILL rust if not given a light coat of mineral oil from time to time) or as involved as scrubbing it with alcohol or germicidal soap prior to it’s use.

Beware of using the same blade on multiple partners without sterilizing it. Never “boil” a knife in oil or water to clean off the germs either. It can ruin the handle, or even warp the blade. It can also impregnate the steel with the oil itself, and cause it to lose some of it’s temper. That means you can no longer keep it sharp.

Nothing above the shoulders. Eyes and facial nerves are impossible to repair if cut or gouged.
When cutting you should pull the blade towards you slowly. Pushing the blade increases the chances of ripping and/or puncturing the skin.

inventerius:

petkeeper:

Use a banana and a mirror for blowjob training – the banana for enhancing your technique, and the mirror to check for yourself what looks great and what doesn´t.

This is actually vary dangerous.
If the soft sticky tip of the banana breaks off and gets logged in your throat it will be very difficult to dislodge it. Chances are you are practising while alone so if that happens you will most likely suffocate.
If your budget does not allow for a proper dildo and you have to use fruit. Do not peal your banana just wash the outside first or use a large carrot.

Or, I don’t know, practice giving a blowjob when you give a blowjob?

There’s this horrible double standard that people, though it is usually slanted towards women, have to be simultaneously inexperienced and yet somehow instantaneous experts at sex acts.

Unless you are blessed by the Ghost of Blowjobs Past, there’s absolutely no acceptable reason why you should be faulted or shamed for not giving a perfect blowjob the first time you give a blowjob. Or even the second time. Or even the fifteenth.

The fact is that everyone likes different things and a piece of fruit isn’t going to give you feedback on it. There’s absolutely no shame in gagging, in pacing yourself, in stepping back and trying to figure yourself out. You didn’t drive on a 75 mph speed limit highway the first time you got behind the wheel of a car. The Sistine Chapel was not Michelangelo’s first experience with paint.

Thank you inventerius for the safety tip, which is super important if someone actually does just sort of want to practice or finds that shit hot. But, if you’re practicing because you’re concerned that your technique isn’t perfect, I’m asking you to consider what kind of state society is in when we are expected to be sexual savants upon first blush.