standards – Ivy

petkeeper:

Use a banana and a mirror for blowjob training – the banana for enhancing your technique, and the mirror to check for yourself what looks great and what doesn´t.

This is actually vary dangerous.
If the soft sticky tip of the banana breaks off and gets logged in your throat it will be very difficult to dislodge it. Chances are you are practising while alone so if that happens you will most likely suffocate.
If your budget does not allow for a proper dildo and you have to use fruit. Do not peal your banana just wash the outside first or use a large carrot.

Or, I don’t know, practice giving a blowjob when you give a blowjob?

There’s this horrible double standard that people, though it is usually slanted towards women, have to be simultaneously inexperienced and yet somehow instantaneous experts at sex acts.

Unless you are blessed by the Ghost of Blowjobs Past, there’s absolutely no acceptable reason why you should be faulted or shamed for not giving a perfect blowjob the first time you give a blowjob. Or even the second time. Or even the fifteenth.

The fact is that everyone likes different things and a piece of fruit isn’t going to give you feedback on it. There’s absolutely no shame in gagging, in pacing yourself, in stepping back and trying to figure yourself out. You didn’t drive on a 75 mph speed limit highway the first time you got behind the wheel of a car. The Sistine Chapel was not Michelangelo’s first experience with paint.

Thank you inventerius for the safety tip, which is super important if someone actually does just sort of want to practice or finds that shit hot. But, if you’re practicing because you’re concerned that your technique isn’t perfect, I’m asking you to consider what kind of state society is in when we are expected to be sexual savants upon first blush.

Dear Tumblr,

In high school, I had an eating disorder. I kept the entire ordeal quiet. I didn’t tell a lot of people what I was going through. I didn’t want to burden people with it and mostly I didn’t want to acknowledge it myself.

While I make sure that I eat healthy now and that my physique reflects an active lifestyle rather than a hungry one, a ton of the psychological feelings remain. Inadequacy. Rampant perfectionism. Unrealistic standards.

It hurts when someone I was seeing saw a picture of me when I was “sick” and made a comment along the lines of, “wow, when was this taken? You look…great.” I know I’m attractive, in shape, appealing, etc, but it really makes me falter when I feel like I could be *better*.

But I’m moving farther and farther away from wanting to be “a mermaid” and closer to the realization that they don’t exist, that they’re conflicted, that things are just simpler as “a whale”.

Simply put, this story was beautiful. It got me thinking. I hope it will get some of you thinking, too.

<3, Ivy

lizzysplace:

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?!

True story: I once sent the following text to a girlfriend while in an art museum:

This statue’s nipples look JUST like yours.

I just sort of felt it needed to be said. And I’m a little tired of modern standards for how every last minute detail on a woman’s body should look, when art shows such gorgeous variety.

Currently hammering in some nails in my room. I swear I can handle this, guys.