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herdirtylittleheart:

Practice. 

“Good kitty, work that tongue” may just be one of the blushiest combination of tags I’ve seen in a while.

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Tonight was just practice. At the real event, she’ll be trading the comfort of the mattress for the hard, unforgiving wood of a dinner table.

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inventerius:

petkeeper:

Use a banana and a mirror for blowjob training – the banana for enhancing your technique, and the mirror to check for yourself what looks great and what doesn´t.

This is actually vary dangerous.
If the soft sticky tip of the banana breaks off and gets logged in your throat it will be very difficult to dislodge it. Chances are you are practising while alone so if that happens you will most likely suffocate.
If your budget does not allow for a proper dildo and you have to use fruit. Do not peal your banana just wash the outside first or use a large carrot.

Or, I don’t know, practice giving a blowjob when you give a blowjob?

There’s this horrible double standard that people, though it is usually slanted towards women, have to be simultaneously inexperienced and yet somehow instantaneous experts at sex acts.

Unless you are blessed by the Ghost of Blowjobs Past, there’s absolutely no acceptable reason why you should be faulted or shamed for not giving a perfect blowjob the first time you give a blowjob. Or even the second time. Or even the fifteenth. 

The fact is that everyone likes different things and a piece of fruit isn’t going to give you feedback on it. There’s absolutely no shame in gagging, in pacing yourself, in stepping back and trying to figure yourself out. You didn’t drive on a 75 mph speed limit highway the first time you got behind the wheel of a car. The Sistine Chapel was not Michelangelo’s first experience with paint.

Thank you inventerius for the safety tip, which is super important if someone actually does just sort of want to practice or finds that shit hot. But, if you’re practicing because you’re concerned that your technique isn’t perfect, I’m asking you to consider what kind of state society is in when we are expected to be sexual savants upon first blush. 

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Heart

It was so kind of you to take me under your wing and teach me all about the art of performance. I’ve been practicing in the mirror just like you told me to. I know you must be awfully busy, but I could always use another go at rehearsing some of the finer points of our technique. 

<3, Ivy