One more day until my crazy New Year’s plans and I promise I’ll spill and tell all about them but eeeeek.
new year’s eve
In retrospect, this year has been a great one.
I received some awesome news and then some more.
I definitely grew a pair. I had the balls to get it on in public. The balls to put up my first selfie. And then was even a little braver.
Which led to some awesome firsts. Some were blushy firsts. Some were chilly firsts. There were first abductions and first ballgags. And there was one first that was really Pretty. With a capital P.
And you all were more than encouraging. I had erotica written about me. For real. I hit 1000 posts. Awesomely. And then I hit my one-year anniversary on this time-suck of a website. And I quickly realized how kind my followers were from tons of messages like that one.
In the midst of all that, I got discovered by a classmate which gave me a wee bitty identity crisis. Who flogged me for the first time and turned out to be an okay guy. And took me to my first minimunch. Where I got tied up with rope and hit with a riding crop for the first time. And where I learned that sometimes things do work out well. Like that a tough night and a weird little power dynamic can set the foundation for something unexpected by telling baseball to go fuck itself and breaking some rules.
Then I paid a little visit to Penthouse Land. Where worlds collided. And where there were more firsts. Like zippers. And fo shiz interrogations. And wearing a collar that I actually liked. And having words (gently) carved into my skin. And where I realized that you never know how important someone is going to become to you. Or how mean. But in the best (and blushiest) way possible.
And I learned that you can take an awkward situation and turn it into a friendship. For real. Or take an even more awkward situation and turn it into a (kind of) threesome. But, most of all, I learned that sometimes I need to take care of myself.
So maybe I caught pneumonia and encountered a wee bit of heartbreak (okay maybe a lot of heartbreak) but I learned some lessons. Especially to start standing up for myself. Which led me to leaving a job that made me miserable. (Even if it was two months after I realized that.) And not going on a second date with a real doozy.
And maybe I didn’t get my orgy when I turned 22. But some gifts are greater than that.
But this was the year I decided to be less ashamed and more flexible. And that’s what’s most important.
So, let’s see what you have in store, 2013.
They say what you do at midnight sets the tone for the rest of your year.
Just something to keep in mind.
New Year’s Eve: Part 6
Let me tell you, tumblr, Grad was damn good at spooning. A regular pro.
We laid there for a while and talked more. We started kissing. We tried to fall asleep. We failed.
He wound up rubbing my back, then reaching down and rubbing elsewhere. I tried to keep quiet, I wasn’t sure if anyone else was sleeping down in the basement. I bucked lightly against his hand.
“You’re really different than other people,” Grad said.
I chuckled, “you’re in love with me.” I’d been teasing him about it since we’d started talking. He’d make a comment, pay me a compliment, look at me too long and I’d say that.
For how random it was, there was something kind of sweet about hooking up with Grad. I don’t know. He’s a good guy. I guess we exchanged numbers, because I found his text the next morning. It’s horrible to admit, but I don’t think I’ll be calling him in the future. I just wouldn’t know what to say without being awkward.
And for that reason among others, I think I’m going to stop my random hookups for a while. I think Grad was a lovely note to end on for now.
New Year’s Eve: Part 5
StandardThis gent, who turned out to be a grad student and in a band (so we’re calling him Grad), and I wound up talking into the better part of the morning. He told me about what he was working on, I shared woes over having to do research.
I was drunk and comfortable enough that I sang. He said he was in a band and I forget why but I started singing. I think he asked me if I could do anything musical, but I just wound up crooning to this guy on a floor at three in the morning.
He was nice, relaxed, confident, comfortable. He was mature. He was an adult. A lot of guys I go to school with are children now, it’s why I tend to be more attracted to the female half of my age demographic when working within the frame of college fun.
At some point in the middle of the conversation, some guy sat down with us and asked me for advice. “My girlfriend’s so insecure,” he said.
“Why are you telling me this?"
He shrugged, "because you don’t seem insecure at all.”
It was weird to hear. I guess it was because I was singing or because I was drunk, but I normally wouldn’t say I’m not insecure. I have my moments, but as this tumblr constantly highlights, I’m constantly second-guessing myself, my lifestyle, my choices.
“That was weird,” I told Grad after the guy left.
Grad checked his watch, “we should get some sleep.” It was almost five in the morning.
I believe Grad was the first man since the first grade to try to erect me a blanketfort “worthy for me to sleep in”.
New Year’s Eve: Part 4
StandardSo, maybe Pink was a little bit trashy. And maybe she wasn’t terribly intelligent or interesting. And maybe she made tacky jokes and had a trampstamp. And maybe, after kissing me at midnight, she very crudely described how much she was looking forward to eating my pussy. But, ugh, tumblr, sometimes I just do silly things for girls with pretty lips.
Walter and Drew seemed to be sharing the affections of the freckled hottie. She was funny, charismatic, absolutely lovely. And Freckles and I seemed to be having some interesting conversation as well when I suddenly heard a loud crash.
Pink had dropped a bottle and had glass in her hand. I rushed over, helped her out, cleaned her up, and found someone sober to take her home. As I was on my way back to join my friends, I was stopped by a guy I had not yet met.
“You’re a good person, you know,” he said, “not shallow at all.”
“Oh, if she was ugly, I wouldn’t have fussed,” I joked and extended a hand, “I’m Ivy.”
New Year’s Eve: Part 3
“Ivy, you look like a girl who can throw!” exclaimed a friend of the hostess who had I met a few times before. “Come be my partner for beer pong.”
I snorted, “you’ve got the wrong girl.” But, I was in the team spirit, so I decided to go join him. “I’ve got warn you, though,” I said as he arranged the cups, “I’ve never played beer pong before.”
Let me tell you, tumblr. I haven’t found my calling, but I did employ some old skills. Across the table, on the other team, was a hottie with a bunch of tattoos and some pink in her hair. So, we’re going to call her Pink. I think her male partner was cute, too. Whatever. Didn’t pay him too much attention.
But, I did pull the top of my dress down a little to try to distract him, but she seemed damn into it as well. So, I hammed it up, wiggled my butt, acted cute. I even saved the game through a combination of diving across a rug for the ball (hence my skinned knee) and sinking the last ball.
Not to mention Pink followed me back over to Drew and Walter, who were chatting up some freckled cutie.
Scoreeeeee.
New Year’s Eve: Part 2
StandardSo, Walter’s actually a great guy.
The three of us were having such a blast together, talking and laughing and hanging around. We suddenly reached a point where he and I were just going back and forth like this.
Me: You’re just like…a great guy.
Walter: You’re a great girl.
Me: Aw, this kid! (turns to Drew, gestures to Walter) He’s a good guy!
Walter: She’s a really good girl!
Seriously. He’s so nice, so funny, and I cannot believe we only just started getting friendly now. Whew.
New Year’s Eve: Part 1
My very close friend invited me to her place for a party for New Year’s. I realized I wouldn’t know anyone besides her there, so I called one of my oldest and closest friends, Drew. Drew and I grew up together and I consider him one of the best people in my life. I was happy to bring him along because he knows the hostess and he’s also a blast to party with.
However.
He invited along a very close friend of his, Walter. I have no issue with Walter as a person. He’s incredibly good-looking, a really nice guy, a fun person to be around. However, Walter is very close to one of my exes and I’m sure has heard all sorts of horrible things – true and untrue – about me. We’ve been to a lot of the same parties, but we’ve never really talked or made an effort to get to know each other.
But, the three of us looked smashing and we headed over to my friend’s to get the party on.
So.
I woke up in a collapsed blanket fort in my friend’s basement to my friend asking me where his jacket was.
Skinned right knee, still a little drunk, two texts in my phone.
The first:
“Hey, Ivy. Sorry I had to run, my ride left early. But it was amazing meeting you and good luck on your research.”
The second, from the friend asking for his jacket:
“Top five moments of the night. FIVE: That comment I made about that one girl. FOUR: You being able to have anybody you wanted in that room and your thing with Pink. THREE: We got. Really. Really. Wasted. TWO: Freckles, ‘nuff said. ONE: The new friendship that has been formed between two of my best friends in life.”
Tumblr, I have some explaining to do.