One of my favorite things about tumblr is the fact that I’ve made some really amazing friends on here. And one of which, the lovely mirrorscape, got into a cute conversation with me about a dirty version of Jenga inspired by Ashe Maree’s adorable Jenga gifset. Over the summer, I received a package from her, only to find she freaking MADE ME A DIRTY JENGA GAME.

Every block had a special task to do (she’d even consulted Sir for ideas!) and there were cute punishments for toppling the tower. Of course, the rules required consent, but in the absence of having fun consenting partners when this arrived back in the spring, it ended up just sitting on a shelf.

That is, until Pup and his girlfriend came over to hang out with Sir and I, and we ended up pouring some drinks and playing Dirty Jenga.

At the time, I’d only been out on two dates with Pup and I was still rather shy. What’s more, I’d never introduced Sir to one of my partners in my new city before, and I was totally worried about people actually getting along. And, on top of all that, I was fairly sure Pup’s girlfriend and I were on all right terms, but I was still kind of nervous navigating a friendship with a potential partner’s primary. 

But, the game ended up being sufficiently fun and only about 15% awkward. A lot of the time, it was just the couples doing stuff to each other because we’re super boring and shy like that. At one point, I had to suck Southern Comfort out of Sir’s navel which is disgusting and honestly if you’re going to take a body shot out of somebody’s bellybutton pick something a little less saccharine and awful. 

However, by the time we restacked the tower and went in for another round, we started getting a little braver. I got to slap Pup, which put this glint in his eyes that made me get all scared when I had to get slapped in return, but thankfully Pup’s girlfriend did the honors. I ended up getting spanked by Sir, then bit-gagged (wah), and Pup wound up getting blindfolded (but I think he was totally peeking whatever).

The third time around, I toppled the tower and got hogtied. I was super bashful about the whole thing and ended up hiding my face in Sir’s lap, and I wish that this is where stuff got majorly hot but instead this is where stuff got weird. Sir had used a ziptie to attach my wrists to my ankles, and Pup went to slice it off with his pocketknife when I started to get a little sore.

Suddenly, I felt something wet and warm on my back through my dress and I heard Pup’s girlfriend start freaking out. I wasn’t sure who’d been hurt, but we’d all been drinking a little bit and a knife legitimately should not have been brought out at this point (yes, this post is now a lecture on BDSM and safety).

Bottom line: Pup cut his thumb and had to get a couple of stitches. My dress somehow got ripped in the chaos that ensued. There was blood on the floor in my kitchen and, yeah, it was kind of the weirdest night ever.

So be safe, guys. Seriously.