Month: June 2014

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It’s taken a lot for me to be able to admit to myself that I enjoy – and am worthy of – attention. I fall back so often upon fears of being demanding and anxiety over how much space I am allowed to take up in the world, in other people’s lives, in my own priorities. 

And as much as it’s manifested personally, it’s manifested on a level in my kink as well. I find it so hard to ask for the things I like by name because I fear I’ll come across as far too demanding, I’m afraid to admit that I love attention because I fear I’ll be considered self-centered or that I’ll be slut-shamed. 

But I’ve been trying so hard to throw that burden off of myself in other areas of my life, and I feel like I need to do that here as well. So, yes, anons who call me a narcissist, I might just be a little bit of an attention whore. And, no, I’m not going to waste my energy at the next play party or orgy I go to trying to hide how much I sincerely and wholeheartedly want to be there. 

Yeah, I like receiving attention. And maybe sometimes I’ll overstep it and be a little too needy or a little too demanding, but I would rather that than worry that I am simply taking up too much space.

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Somebody’s been liking a whole lot of my posts lately without contributing anything new or exciting on his tumblr.

I’m the one who should be writing you the prescription, at this rate.

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Forget crowns. This is what a little princess wears.

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This is a little harsher than what I usually post up, but consider it an ambitious start to Topless Tuesday and a way to show a certain inquisitive follower the ballgag Sir made me.

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So I’ve got this fantasy where a handful of people gather around to just sit and watch me in a situation like this. Just to talk and laugh, have a few drinks, maybe occasionally pull the chain between the clamps or brush my hair off of my face. 

I guess I just really, really like that sort of inattentive attention. Like a bunch of people crowded around me, but also being absorbed in their own business. So I’m just kind of the background noise to whatever else is going on, but I’m still clearly a focal point.

My boyfriend and I discovered that we are into wax play. But we don’t exactly how to do this. Can you give us some advice? Also, how was your first time in wax play? (Sorry for the awkwardness, I’m a huge fan of your blog.)

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Hi there! Not awkward at all, and congratulations on discovering something new and exciting you are into!

The first time I tried wax play, I was doing it to myself while someone else guided me through it. I actually really think this was the best way to introduce myself, because it allowed me some relative control over the wax and it gave me the opportunity to learn my tolerances and my breaking points. Also, having that person there allowed for some encouragement, especially when I’d get nervous at the last second and he’d reassure me to give it a go. 

Some tips:

  1. Always, ALWAYS have a system of safe words in place. Especially if you’re doing this within the context of non-consent. 
  2. They sell special wax play candles designed for this sort of thing. I would totally suggest getting those.
  3. If you don’t spring for wax play candles, absolutely DO NOT use candles made of beeswax. They have a high burning temperature. This means when the wax finally starts to drip, it’ll be pretty freaking hot. Paraffin is typically best for its low burning point. And, ironically, the best wax play I’ve ever done was with those religious candles with the saints on them because the long, glass tube allows you to hold them firmly and they have a rather low melting point. So go for those. Be sacriligious and filthy. Fetishize that if you’d like. 
  4. Have a towel soaking in water handy for the oft-chance you feel as if you may have burned or hurt yourself. This has never happened to me, but it’s a good precaution to take. Also useful is aloe vera.
  5. Remember that whatever goes onto you has to be peeled off. Generally, putting wax on areas with hair, such as the forearm, will hurt more coming off than putting areas on bare areas, such as the stomach. 
  6. The farther you hold the candle from the body when you drip the wax, the less hot the wax will be when it hits you. So, start far and move closer.
  7. You can remove the wax with your fingernail once it has cooled. If the area is hairless, it’ll typically come right up. If there’s hair, it’ll take a little work. 
  8. Try combining wax play with ice. It’s super super squirm-inducing and the mix of hot and cold can be a lot of fun. 
  9. Be mindful that wax can totally spill onto stuff and ruin it, such as bedsheets and rugs. Either put something down to catch stray wax OR research how you can remove wax from whatever you’re working on prior to doing the wax play, just in case.
  10. Always communicate clearly and openly about how you’re feeling. Pushing yourself can be fun, but overdoing it can be painful.

I hope this helps!

<3,
Ivy

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The Feminist Porn Conference was an awesome part of my visit with Daddy. It was super educational and empowering, and it was especially fun to be able to attend it with someone who is genuinely interested in and sensitive to the subject. And it was so cool to see what was going on around the world, in academia, and to feel like I was watching people at this really crucial point in feminist pornography really making a huge difference and really altering the landscape of pornography itself.

Not to mention one of my earliest exchanges with Daddy involved passing notes during class and we ended up doing just that about one of the cute presenters. So, everything comes back around again.

When I had to catch my trip back, Daddy called me a cab from the conference. We took a picture together as we waited outside, smiling. When the cab pulled up, we kissed goodbye. Before getting in, I worked up the nerve to kiss her again. 

I smiled the whole way back across the border.

But what was I saying? The Conference was awesome.

Really.

The Conference.

courtneytrouble:

tiearamyers:

Quotes from Courtney Trouble’s Keynote at the Feminist Porn Conference.

A powerful speech all LGBTQ people and allies should see.

I was blow away! (then I created this)

http://chicagospectrum.com/2014/04/14/courtney-troubles-keynote-feminist-porn-conference/

I AM OFFICIALLY A MEME!

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Thanks to those of you who sent questions last night to Sir, he had a good time. There’s one or two left over, so we’ll save them for whenever he gets a chance to do it again. 

In other news, I need this right now.