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Somebody’s been liking a whole lot of my posts lately without contributing anything new or exciting on his tumblr.

I’m the one who should be writing you the prescription, at this rate.

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“If you want to call me ‘dolly,’” I said, “you have to treat me like one.”

“I don’t already treat you like my doll?” he asked. “Just because you’re my dolly doesn’t mean I can’t treat you rough.”