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Whatever do you mean?

whyexactly:

This has brat written all over it.

kitty-en-classe:

La Niña Santa by Sofia Sanchez & Mauro Mongiello

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whyexactly:

Could you handle being defined

by a little science experiment in which

we throw a million ideas at the wall

and take note of which ones stick?

A Blushy Submission in my Inbox: Dearest Mr. Craftsmate, and Ivy

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Mr. Craftsmate,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having such difficulty house-breaking little Ivy. I’ve never had a new pet myself, but I understand that this is likely a very trying situation for you, especially since she’s at an age where she should have been properly trained some time ago. Hang in there though, persevere, and I’m sure you’ll have a pet to be proud of in little time.

Fortunately, in this internet age, there is a wealth of training advice available. For example, I found this schedule that may help you organize Ivy’s day so that she can most easily adapt to her new routine. I’m sure she will enjoy having so much free time.

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Otherwise, if she continues to be a difficult learner (puppies are like people, in that some of them are slow to adapt, or perhaps are entirely affable, but just not that bright) you might consider one of these things:

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Apparently they can be dangerous if worn around the neck, but I would bet that a creative mind such as yours could devise some means of securing it around one of her hind legs, and keeping it from sliding down. This could aid in consistency of training as you would be able to correct unacceptable behaviour just about anywhere. 

Finally, it may be worth purchasing a supply of these:

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as even the best trained pets sometimes have accidents when they get too excited in a new environment. I’m sure Ivy will appreciate the gesture, as not only will they protect her from the shame of making a mess in Mr. Penthouse’s living room, her bare bum will have at least a little cushion on the hard floor.

Wishing you patience in this difficult task. Please do us the courtesy of frequent updates, as I know there are many of who would be all too happy to offer congratulatory words as Ivy reaches new milestones in her training. Good Luck!

W.E.

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“Awww,” Craftsmate said when he saw whyexactly’s comment. “He thinks you’re already housebroken. But that’s just not true.”

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whyexactly:

It’s gonna be ok.

Growing up is a pretty awful thing isn’t it? Time whisks us along faster than we’d like, our bodies change, and our minds wander places they never used to, and sometimes settle on ideas that we don’t understand. We’ve all woken up in the middle of the night in a sweat, rattled by a dream so vivid we’re nearly convinced it was real, shocked at the pictures that crept into our heads while our backs were turned… It can be enough to spark a small-scale existential crisis.

How did all this stuff get there? What’s happening to me? Why is everything so complicated all of a sudden?

…and what the heck am I supposed to do now?

It’s that last one that’s important. I think maybe our biology, our psychology, the ticking clock on the bedside table… They’re not working against us so much as they’re pushing us to work hard at being “us,” and asking that we consider why we’re here in the first place.

We don’t get to control this uncomfortable metamorphosis. No set of ‘medical theories,’ western or otherwise, has demonstrated a complete understanding of how our bodies work. Fortunately, we are resilient creatures.

We can’t expect to shield ourselves from the influence that’s all around us. Others will try to tell us what they think we should be doing, and while there’s great value in considering their ideas, it’s our own compass that should be our guide. Our ‘gut’ will know, even if we don’t yet understand. Trust it.

So what next?

Start small. Find something you like to do and do it as best you can. Maybe it’s something fancy like playing an instrument, or studying the stars, or maybe something as simple as cooking, or drawing, or even volunteering and helping other people… It doesn’t matter what, it matters that you try your best so that at the end of the day you can be proud of yourself.

…and being proud of yourself isn’t always easy. It takes some practice, but it’s worth the effort. Do what you love as best you can, and be good to the people you meet while you do it. It won’t happen overnight, but in time the pieces will start to come together and you’ll have learned a great deal about yourself in the process.

Growing up is all about realizing what you need in order to be happy, and doing it.

Simple as that.

So, dear little anon, I’m sorry you’re having a rough day, but hang in there and rest assured that you’re not alone. If your ears get bent out of shape along the way, all you need to do is straighten them out as best you can and keep on hopping.

Usually I’m reblogging and liking whyexactly for the really sexy stuff he produces.

But the way he responded to his anon is just wonderful and worth a read, no matter what stage of “growing up” you’re at.

(But don’t go on his tumblr, or mine, until you’re 18. Really, yo. That’s the bottom limit cutoff for stages of growing up.)

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whyexactly:

Anyone that tries to tell you that

leggings aren’t pants

is missing out…

The first time I messed around with a girl, it was through a pair of leggings that I eventually soaked right through. Whyexactly is right on the money with this one.

So, I actually have the sweetest followers.

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I’ve been getting some really sweet feedback from all of you lately.

The always sexy and super squirmy-inducing whyexactly made a very sweet post in response to my story about getting ballgagged for the first time.

And the incredibly intelligent church-mouth really sweetly reblogged my whining about that guy from my frat with a command to follow me.

I so, so appreciate how kind and supportive all of you are. And your comments today were the absolute sweetest.

<3,

Ivy

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whyexactly:

“Time’s up!” He said, with a certain smug satisfaction,

before pushing her over onto her side

with his foot.

These are the sorts of games I’m never sure if I want to win or lose.