It’s funny how sometimes little elements of your dynamic bleed over into other things in fairly subtle ways. Take, for instance, the night Switch and I went out with a bunch of our friends to see a band. At one point, he and his friend went off to get another drink and, as he was leaving, he reached up a mussed my hair a bit. It was this barely noticeable thing, fairly benign. But it was this breaching of a very subtle line, this display of vague condescension that he knows I enjoy. It also had this teensy drop of the little girl dynamic that I’m fairly sure he doesn’t even know I’m into.

It came back again a few nights later, when I had a nightmare and apparently gasped and woke up with a start. When I told him what was wrong, he pulled me into him and stroked my hair and whispered, “eyes closed now, go back to sleep”. More of the little girl, more of the placing me down on a level slightly below him in a way I enjoy.

I don’t know. It’s just funny how these things start to manifest themselves. And how being sweet in a certain context can be just as domineering as being rough.