life

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So, after thinking really hard about the situation, I decided I needed to stop seeing Woody. Turns out, in the process of “dumping” him, I discovered what a good decision this actually was. But, the whole situation was 50000 shades of awkward. 

I had to do it over Skype because he doesn’t live out here, and so I felt kind of guilty about it. But, I couldn’t keep this going. He continued to do things that made me feel uncomfortable after I’d had long conversations about why I did not want him to do those things. He claimed he was a feminist, but made massively misogynist comments all the time. Despite the fact that we had some really fun evenings, I knew I had to shut the whole thing down.

(Not to mention he referred to his penis as “Him.” Shudder.)

Except, everything went wrong:

  1. He answered Skype naked. NAKED. So, I broke up with a naked person.
  2. He informed me that his primary had just broken up with him this week, so I felt awful…
  3. …UNTIL he tried to persuade me to dump my boyfriend and be his girlfriend…
  4. … which started with the phrase “no offense to your boyfriend, but…”
  5. He did that sketchy thing of sort of like, “oh, but we can still like talk and text and do all the stuff we were already doing, right?” (No.)

So, ah, that was my evening. I broke up with a penis.

I’m going to go eat some cookies now.

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I’ve lived in this new city for almost a year now and I’m still calling it new.

I think part of it is the fact that I kind of haven’t let go of home. My friends are there, my family is there, my boyfriend is there. And while I made some friends here, I’ve always kind of had one foot out the door.

This summer, most of the friends I’ve made in my program aren’t around. And, I never really branched out locally. So, since I came back here, I’ve been kind of lonely, just going to work and mostly keeping to myself. I don’t know why I didn’t try to branch out, I guess I’ve just never really accepted that this is my home now. I thought if I kept writing this off as a temporary thing, I wouldn’t have to accept the fact that I miss everyone so much.

I was talking to Sir last night about how I was lonely, and he convinced me into finally switching over my okcupid and fetlife to the city I actually live in. As in, the one I’ve lived in for the past year. 

So, I’m going to a munch on Monday. And tonight I’m grabbing a drink with someone. Because I’ve decided it’s finally time I let go and put down some roots here.

axman:

Photo by: Igor Gritsenko

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After an amazing month home, I have to go back to my new little neck of the woods. I’ve got to get back to my job (I was fortunate enough to be able to take this long off because we keep our doors closed for May) and I’ve got to start getting ready for all the craziness of the fall (teaching, doing my master’s thesis, eeek).

I’m a little anxious because, in addition to the craziness that awaits me, I’m not sure the next time I’ll be back around to see my family or friends or Sir or this new guy. I’m not even 100% sure if Sir will end up having to relocate for work.

So you can expect some cathartic porn reblogging and intentional dirty distractions for the next few days, I suppose.

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daysoftheweekunderwear:

Feb 24, 2013: i sent you flirty texts and decided i had a crush on you
Feb 24, 2014: you tied me up and made me come three times

It’s funny what can happen in a year, isn’t it?

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Sorry my queue was a hot mess and spitting stuff out tonight, guys.

I promise I’ll finish up the story about New Year’s and get into the fun details about my recent threesome.

But I’ve got a lot of stuff on my plate right now.

<3, Ivy

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Trying to make it to the third panel.

Bagh.

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Today was too long and too much and I just can’t and I’m going to bed.

Here’s to hoping tomorrow’s a little easier on me.

Pleeeease?

danishprinciple:

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Thank you for the kind words in my askbox. They were lovely to wake up to.

I’m running out the door today, but please know I appreciate the messages.

I’m sorry for the whiney feelings post. I’m just in a little bit of a funk.

luna-vespertine:

Jackie Dunn Smith

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Today kind of sucks and I’ve been completely down on myself and I have been doubting just about everything.

I just feel like I’m an impostor and I can’t live up to people’s expectations of me and I won’t actualize soon enough.

And I’m worried that I can’t sustain what I want to do as a career and I’ve been feeling just generally useless. Some doctor was hitting on me on the bus and what bothered me most was I was like bagh society will always have a use for you.

I just wish I felt certain of myself and my future and everything else.

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senses-working-overtime:

http://www.origamicupcake.com:  The illustration of Hiromi Sato resembles the cutest scrapbook you’ve ever seen. Full of textiles, buttons and wool, Sato layers patterns to create collage-like images with fairy tale themes. I love the sweet mori girl aesthetic of her work. Enjoy.

My Daddy sent me this and I think it’s the cutest and bestest.

Yesterday, I had a major deadline and I met it. I also had a majorly good hair day. (Thank you, universe!)

It’s only a week until I get some time to go home and little more than that until I get to see Sir. And I’m feeling so good today.

This has been a post.