Now, today is just the kind of horribly hot day for some really good ice play.
black and white
I haven’t been totally, genuinely scared in quite a while. When it comes to play, I’m really into fear. I’m into that rush of emotion, that checking of trust, the way the elevated heart rate and squirminess of panic feels a whole lot like arousal. It’s why I love knives. It’s why I love the deep and casual invasiveness of medical play. I just really, really like the space of being terrified.
I’m going to barre tomorrow morning with two of my friends for the very first time. We thought it would be a fun thing to do together this summer.
I am super nervous, but a little bit excited. I am the kind of person who hates being new at things and can’t stand not being able to do something well. If nothing else, this will be an exercise in letting go.
Does anyone trawling this blog happen to do it?
The Wartenberg wheel looks like a silly little pizza-cutter and never fails to make me feel goofy when I’m using it. Nevertheless, I love the sensations and the reactions the wheel elicits.
Did somebody say pizza?
For some reason, Sir and I had the best sex we’ve had in a while this afternoon. I don’t know, just all the chemistry and the butterflies and the sunlight and everything was all perfect.
Oh, and Happy Memorial Day.
So, I went out on another date with this gent.
Once again, it went really, really well. To the point that he ended up giving me a spanking in his car and then held me afterwards.
So, yeah, tumblr. I don’t know. Maybe this is the start of something interesting.
“We crave permission openly to become our secret selves.” – Salman Rushdie, The Moor’s Last Sigh.
Hi, I’m stressed out and Sir went to bed early and I’m losing my motivation and I need attention and love, okay?
♡ ℒℴѵℯ • ♡
Sir says once his schedule has calmed down in the next few weeks and I’m out there at his place, we’re going to get serious again about my training. I’m super, super nervous and really excited about the whole thing. I wish it were May already.
One thing in particular is that Sir has totally listened to my feedback and seems to be taking some really important strides in making this productive for both of us. I expressed that in the past, when he gave me tasks, I didn’t like how he sort of left me with the presumption that I’d just do them without checking in. It made me feel a little neglected, and he promised that this time he would be more active in ensuring I was doing the things he asked of me regularly.
Moreover, he promised to be a lot less lenient and to let me get away with a lot less. So, I’m super nervous and excited about that.
Eek.