I’m delicate.
I told you. I meant it.
sweet
It’s the bow that really does it for me here.
For some reason, Sir and I had the best sex we’ve had in a while this afternoon. I don’t know, just all the chemistry and the butterflies and the sunlight and everything was all perfect.
Oh, and Happy Memorial Day.
I should mention that Sir and I are starting to explore something new with our dynamic. A few years ago, I used to like being more of a “slave” than a “sub,” but I got burned pretty hard by some people and it drove me away. I got really, really scared about putting that much trust in someone like that again, and so I completely resisted entering into that sort of dynamic again. But, I’ve always craved it and wished I could have it.
A few weeks ago, I admitted this to Sir. I was stressed out and I was craving that release of just serving someone. I kept asking him to just take control and he kept asking me what I meant. The whole time, I was shaking because I was so scared to let myself feel that again. But, I admitted it to him.
I told him about how I wanted to feel more like property, about how cherished that used to make me feel. I admitted I used to let myself get pushed deeper into subspace, that I used to hold off on backing out of beatings just because they started to really hurt, that I used to value obedience and service. But I had my trust betrayed and I completely withdrew and closed off to it.
It’s been a process of me first admitting this to myself, and now admitting it to him. Sir has been so patient and loving and I’m so proud to be owned by him. I have no interest in calling him Master, but we’ve been exploring that new dynamic now. And I get super nervous when we do, but I’m excited. And I’m so, so happy I can start to trust someone that way again.
Sometimes when I visit Daddy’s house I’m not there to be his good girl, I’m there to be taken care of. When I walk in the door he helps me out of my coat, scoops me up in his arms and carries me to his bed. He strips me down and tucks me in under his big marshmallow of a blanket. He sets the…
Ugh, I need this right now so badly.
Currently hanging out on my couch with Sir, watching Jon Stewart on Hulu, while he rubs my feet. Life is good.
Being a Brave Girl, Part Six
About a week before I visited Sir, I had a tinychat. In that chat, somehow, I agreed to let Sir carry out one of his fantasies that had previously teetered between a hard and a soft limit. But, I wanted to let him try it and so I said I was game.
After we fucked, he brought me over to the shower and asked me if I still wanted to. I agreed and, nervously, squatted down on the floor of his shower.
“I can’t look.” I felt myself blushing and gazed away from him as he (oh god I can barely even write it) aimed. “Don’t do it on my face, okay?”
(Oh sheesh I can’t do this.)
(You guys get what happened right? Right? So I don’t have to say it, right?)
I squeezed my eyes shut and he pissed on my chest.
After he had finished, he told me how proud he was and what a good girl I was for letting him mark me like that. And I was proud of myself, too, but I stumbled up to my feet and asked him to just turn the shower on.
The entire time, he held me close, helped shampoo my hair, kissed my forehead over and over while I washed my body. I know he seems tough and he even admits he can be a “cruel bastard” sometimes (his words!). But, he can really be the sweetest and knows when to be gentle with me and always seems to know what I need.
And how he was in the shower was exactly what I needed after I’d been brave.
My mother used to tell me blowjobs weren’t very intimate. I disagree.
Just wanted to send out a thank you for all the love the picture of my tail got.
Because it received, for me, an obscene amount of notes like woah.
It took a lot of courage for me to post it and the validation of all the positive feedback I got, from likes to messages, was so encouraging in my journey of accepting the stuff I’m into/not thinking I am a total and complete weirdo.
So, thanks so much. You’re all wonderful.
<3, Ivy
Girlfriend & I have been doing so well lately, honestly the strongest we’ve been since we began lusting for each other a few springs ago. There’s been some challenging moments since she’s recently decided to explore our openness (previously, I have been, with a minor exception, the only one to date outside our relationship) but overall, we’re better than ever.
Last night, after she’d had a kinda shitty date with her new fling, she invited me over. I was hesitant at first, knowing that she’d just been doting over someone else, but I really wanted to see my girl regardless. So at midnight in 40 degree weather, I biked across town to her apartment as fast as I could; for some reason it just felt urgent. As she cuddled me under the covers, warming me up, she asked why I had rushed so. That’s when it came out: “Because I love you.” Somewhat unplanned, completely genuine.
While she’s said those heavy words to me before, I’d repeatedly skirted reciprocation. I’ve always loved her in some capacity, but I was dealing with some residual bullshit from previous loves & simply wasn’t ready to verbally match her sentiment. So as you’d imagine she was quite elated to finally hear me say those three little words.
We basked for a bit in the warmth of shared love for awhile, kissing sweetly & holding each other, but eventually I could feel her wetness on my bare leg. She wanted to celebrate. I positioned myself on her already nude body as if we were going to 69, but I told her to relax & not to touch me. I teased her clit with my tongue until she squirmed under me, needing to be filled. She came a few times this way, but I was determined to make her orgasm. For a few minutes I sucked her little button & pushed two fingers in & out of her pussy slowly until her moans plateaued. Then I abruptly sat up on her belly & fucked her with one finger as fast, deep, & hard as I could. Almost immediately, she orgasmed so intensely she squirted the way I thought only pornstars could. She’d squirted a few times before, but only a little bit in comparison. Honestly, I’m still in awe. I haven’t been so happy in who knows how long.
Long story short: Love is so powerful it can induce squirting.
This. All of this.