Friend #1: More than one kid seems overwhelming. But four parents and one kid sounds perfect.
Me: Polyamory, man.
Friend #2: At what point does that become a kibbutz?
ethical nonmonogamy
Tonight I’m going to a sexy, fun crazy party with Sir and one of his partners. Star’s also going to be there and is probably/definitely going to tie me up.
Happy New Year, tumblr. Have an amazing time tonight and stay safe!
Charlotte Olympia’s Veuve Clicquot campaign (via)
Funny you should say that.
Sir came to visit me in early October for a weekend (yes, that’s where we are in the timeline now) and when he arrived, I sucked his cock in my living room. He’d always liked to tease me about sucking other guys’ cocks, and had jokingly dubbed the last summer kind of a slutty summer for that reason. To this day, he makes me blush by telling people that I’d made good use of my free time over the summer.
But, anyway, I was on my knees in my living room and his cock was out of his pants and in my mouth. Sir started chuckling and rolled his hand through my hair, pulling it lightly to make me look at him. “Now, who taught you that?”
I blushed and didn’t respond, continuing to suck his cock.
“Look who’s been getting so much practice.” He mussed my hair. “You’re getting a lot better at that.”
I pulled back from him, “would you stop teasing me?” He pushed his cock back into my mouth, and when he found I didn’t gag, held it there.
So, moral of the story? I don’t know. Maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world. Practice makes perfect.
The venue where the play party was supposed to be last night fell through, and Sir and I got the notification that the party was cancelled halfway through getting dressed.
This was kind of a blessing. I had never met this partner before and I was a bit nervous about being thrown into a situation where we’d be semi-naked and surrounded by people fucking a little bit after meeting. I suggested we all just have a nice evening here, and we did.
Oh, and Sir and I totally co-dommed her. So that’s a story I need to tell once I have you all caught up.
ph. Highcastle
×
Sir, one of his partners and I are going to a play party later tonight. My outfit is 98% fringe and not much else. It’s gonna be awesome.
It’s the first time I’m meeting this partner and I’m a little nervous but also a little excited.
That Time Pup Was Celibate For a Little Bit, Part Two
I didn’t want to cross any boundaries or make stuff awkward, so I tried to give Pup space. However, this was a little impossible when he kept turning up everywhere. I encountered him on the street, on campus, on the way back from running errands.
It’s really hard to maintain boundaries when the person won’t just disappear. Even harder when you’re attracted to them and you’re trying to be very good and you don’t want to get involved in their breakup sadness because you’ve got to take care of yourself, too. And it’s especially hard when your tendency is to want to care for other people, but this is just totally not the time or place.
So, when Pup asked me to join him to get coffee and study together, I decided to make sure we were in a public place where basic boundaries could be maintained. Because, yeah. You can’t say I didn’t try.
Yes.
It’s a little weird to leave for the holidays this year. In addition to having an amazing group of friends in my city, I had the realization sitting in the airport that no matter where I am, I’m always stuck missing one partner or the other.
Fuck.
Poly problems.
In my defense, I was asking which sex toys he wanted me to pack.
Somebody’s spoiled.
That Time Pup Was Celibate For a Little Bit, Part One
It was late September and stuff with Pup was going pretty well. We got along with each other to a degree that we were able to just hang out and talk, and we had a degree of chemistry that also kind of made it impossible to just talk. Because his girlfriend had other partners, he was both used to seeing poly women and he understood perfectly his place in reference to Sir. He was super respectful of my relationship and we were having a great time so naturally something had to go wrong.
Pup and his girlfriend were having problems and they were – without laying out his dirty laundry on the Internet – of the wow-we-may-not-actually-be-compatible nature which is heavier/crazier/worse than the whole poly-isn’t-working problems. They broke up. Pup was, understandably, a mess.
There was the awkward issue of what that implied for us that I wasn’t sure how to bring up. I wanted him to take care of himself. I came over to try to talk about that, we ended up trying to mess around, and it ended absolutely horribly. It’s hard for me to write about my partners and portray them in a negative light to the peanut gallery of the Internet, but let’s say that the next day he left a letter at my place saying how he’d fucked up.
On my way to a party, I made a quick stop at his place and we talked through the whole thing. Pup wanted to be celibate for a little bit to avoid any more hiccups so, eventually, he could pick stuff back up without ruining it while he was dealing with this. I agreed, we hugged, and I felt much better about the whole thing.
Except we’re a couple of sluts, so…
I’ve discovered that when it comes to jealousy in non-monogamy, it boils down to whether or not I find the other person is too similar to me.
If I’m like oh this individual represents something so totally different than what I am, I’m really fine with it because I’m like sweet I get it you just want some variety you go for that.
But when somebody’s got too much in common with me, I start to get concerned about the idea of being replaced. One of my biggest insecurities is the whole idea that my partners are going to find somebody slightly better than me and trade up. I know, it’s absolutely ridiculous, but it’s one of the silly places my head goes.
Last summer, Sir started seeing this girl and they got super into each other very fast. I was really happy for him, but I realized this was another blonde girl with some fairly similar kinks except, oh yeah, she was down for more degradation than I was. Even though now I think she’s a lovely person, I was kind of livid and frightened at first by the whole idea of them seeing each other.
Of course, I’m in no sense “recovered,” but I’m kind of happy that I at least know what the jealousy is centered on. Being able to identify it is the first step of getting rid of it, right?