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Star’s visiting Sir in his neck of the woods. Right now the two are out and having a good time. I miss them both whole whole lot, and especially miss being able to hang out together.

Pup’s out on a date with a girl today and I’m really excited for him.

But, like, here I am holed up doing work and generally being stressed. And I really miss – with regards to both of these circumstances – being the center of attention. 

/brat

vanessamoselle:

« Etre adulte, c’est être seul. »
de Jean Rostand

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thinkivykink:

nankingdecade:

You’re fucking disgusting and everyone knows it.

Something super super brave and blushy happened last night and I need to double my efforts to catch you up on everything from September to now because holy crap.

Leftovers, Part Five

I didn’t think I would be able to do it, knowing everyone was watching like that. But, I did. I probably would not have been able to without the blindfold on, being a little shy, but I ended up cumming in front of a room that was mostly strangers. Sir kept murmuring in my ear how I was the only one like this, how I was a slut for needing this in the middle of a nice little get-together.

I slumped against him when I had finished and someone gave off another “aww.” Sir had me say thank you to the first guy, and I did so with a little bashfulness, grateful the blindfold was still on. He clicked the vibrator back on, but I pouted that I was sensitive, and he turned it off.

Sir held me for a little bit, someone commenting that it was so sweet that I was still blindfolded. Eventually, he took the blindfold off and he had me go remove the bullet. I made a quick walk to the bathroom, trying to avoid eye contact with just about everyone while doing so.

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Leftovers, Part Four

Sir had me sit back down on the couch. He was fiddling with the remote to the bullet vibrator a little bit, and I was having trouble looking at anyone with the remote out like that, even if the vibrator was turned off. “Nervous?” Sir asked and I nodded. He stroked my hair. “Do you want your blindfold?” 

I nodded again and he tied it over my eyes, aligning the two circles so no light could get in. I felt Star reach over and rub my shoulders. Over from the other side of the room, I heard someone ask Sir what he was holding. “Oh,” he answered. “It’s for the bullet in her cunt.” I felt my cheeks burning. “It’s new and so I just want to play with it all the time now, like a kid with a new toy.” 

He switched it on and I buried my face in his chest, still embarrassed even though I was blindfolded. I tried not to moan but I did, even more so as he took me through the different speeds. When he finally brought it down to a low setting again, I straightened up and figured I could get through it if he just left it like this. 

“Do you want to try it, then?” Sir asked someone. He lowered my hands to his shoulders. “Ivy,” he explained to me who he was talking to. It was a guy I’d never met before but thought seemed pretty nice and rather attractive. “Are you all right with me letting him have the remote a little while?”

Someone let out an “awww” when I nodded, because I guess I blushed, and I buried my face in his chest again. 

The first guy was rather mean with it. He’d take me up pretty close and then cut it off abruptly. He figured out rather quickly which speeds really got me and which just made me frustrated, and tried to get me to have conversation while he alternated between building an orgasm and making me frustrated. With my consent, the remote ended up getting passed around, and I would have to guess who was holding it. By the tone of his voice, Sir seemed to be having a great time.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?” He asked after a few rounds of this, and I asked for some water. 

The vibrator was off at this moment, and I had the glass poised at my lips when I heard the first guy, who now had the remote again, say: “Somebody needs to take this from me. This isn’t going to end well.” Everyone laughed.

Once I was finished taking a sip of water, Star was holding me and raking her long nails gently down my back and shoulder while Sir played with my hair and the first guy, who’d gotten the vibrator back, was busy getting me really, really close.

“I need to cum,” I finally choked out.

I felt Sir’s fingers dig into my hair, “you want to cum right now?” I nodded frantically. “In front of all these people? On somebody else’s couch? Right in front of everyone? Is that so?”

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Leftovers, Part Three

Sitting down on the couch proved all the more difficult. The crotch rope pulled harder and my head was yanked back even further. I felt incredibly silly, and the only saving grace of the whole thing was the fact that it kept me from making eye contact with most of the people there. 

Sir and Star were flanking me on the couch, which felt somehow a little bit protective and yet a little bit condescending with the way they were talking over me. Every so often, one of them would reach over to smooth my hair or check in with me. Sometimes, Sir would give the rope running down my back a little tug. I was too nervous to really participate in much of anything conversation-wise.

Eventually, Sir let me out so that I could use the bathroom, but sent me off there with one of his new purchases. It was a remote-control vibrator, and because it was a brand-new toy, Sir was obsessed with it like a kid in the days after Christmas. He kept making me wear it around his place, and figured that this party was an even better opportunity to give it a go.

Despite how humiliating it was, I consented and ducked into the bathroom to slip the bullet inside of myself.

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Leftovers, Part Two

Star set to showing Sir how to put me in a harness that would, in her words, make my boobs look awesome. She wasn’t lying.

While a lot of the harnesses I’ve seen and experienced tend to press the breasts down or contort them into weird shapes, this one almost imitated a bra. My arms were folded behind my back palm to elbow, which made me stick my chest out. The rope over my chest was pulled up into little triangles, and as a result my breasts were tugged up and out as if they were in a push-up bra.

“I should let some people at the party tonight slap them, shouldn’t I?” Sir asked. I nodded bashfully as Star brought the rope around my front.

“So,” she said. “We’ve got a bunch leftover. If you want, we can give her a crotchrope with it.” I pouted a little, but wasn’t totally upset when Star put a really convenient knot in the remaining rope and threaded it up between my legs, pulling it tight.

Up until then, Sir had mostly been watching intently, trying to learn the harness so that he could put me back in it later at the other party. But, he suddenly gave Star a conspiratorial look over my shoulder, and helped to dip my head back while Star knotted the rope carefully into my hair, showing Sir how to do it safely.

As a result, when I tried to lower or straighten my head, the crotchrope was pulled taut and the knot rubbed against my clit. My head was forced back so far that I couldn’t keep my mouth closed, and I felt silly and exposed and could barely look at the other people in the room.

“Let’s sit you down, hm?” Sir asked and took hold of my arm, guiding me over to the couch. “Why don’t you make some friends?“

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Leftovers, Part One

A few days after Thanksgiving, Sir and I went to a get-together Star was hosting with some other kinky/poly people to eat leftovers and hang out. Sir’s a little bit more familiar with and closer to these people, but I like Star and it’s always nice to connect within the community. We also had plans to go to a play party afterwords, so I had something fun on underneath my sweaterdress and coat.

I like going places with Sir where we can be “ourselves” because I like our dynamic and I like sharing that with other people. I don’t mean to say that I enjoy showing off (okay, maybe a little) but rather that I really love being able to be submissive to him in interactions that are just not exclusively with him. We talk a lot about the framing of our relationship and how the paradigm is really more of us using the frame of “boyfriend/girlfriend” as sort of a disguise/more palatable way of explaining ourselves on top of our “dominant/submissive” dynamic. So, it’s nice to just sort of go to a place and casually be Sir’s sub. It was enjoyable to put things on his plate for him, to fill his drinks for him, to sit patiently on his knee while he talked to someone.

At some point in the evening, I was feeling a little awkward (I really only knew Sir, Star, and Star’s partner but just barely) and was keeping to myself when Sir said he wanted to have Star show him how to put me in a harness. I got up and walked onto the carpet, where Star asked if I felt comfortable removing my dress.

For a minute, I hesitated, but then removed it and handed it off to Sir. “Thank you, Ivy,” said a guy I then realized I recognized from New Year’s a year ago. Aka, he was the guy who Sir totally messed up my game with. “I’m sorry,” he added, “am I allowed to look? That’s just…that’s super.”

I blushed. “Yeah, you can look. It’s fine.”

He gestured to the two girls sitting with him on the couch. “We like your stockings.”

“He gave them to me,” I said, pointing to Sir.

“Aren’t they nice?” Sir asked, turning me so the people on the couch could get a better look. He’s got this funny little ringleader/auctioneer streak where, when we’re in a group of people who are of our inclinations, he likes to show off. I can’t even pretend that I really mind all that much.

babygirlssweetsurrender:

💋

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Tonight I’m going to a sexy, fun crazy party with Sir and one of his partners. Star’s also going to be there and is probably/definitely going to tie me up. 

Happy New Year, tumblr. Have an amazing time tonight and stay safe!

vintagegal:

Charlotte Olympia’s Veuve Clicquot campaign (via)

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Out with the lovely Star having drinks and discussing poly problems and plans for tying me up on New Year’s. Be jealous.

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The Party Sub, Part Eleven

I wish I could say that the evening ended on this amazing note and Sir and I came home and fucked each others’ brains out. But this wasn’t really the case. I had a wonderful night, but a lot of things compounded by the end of it made it a little rough.

I was tired, subspaced and starting to experience a pretty extreme sub drop. I was feeling some shame. When Sir and I tried to fuck in the loft, I couldn’t even get wet. I sucked his cock, but I kept getting distracted and nervous. There were some people up there messing around as well, and for the first time I was hyper-aware of it and it made me really insecure.

So, Sir just let me lie down and he held me, kissing me behind my ear and letting me come down from everything. Star came upstairs and cuddled up with us, and at some point the three of us just fell asleep. 

When we woke up, I got dressed and Sir and I gathered our things and left. In the cab back, I started to feel better and even a little proud of myself. While I had left the party being quiet and a little short, by the time we were on the road, I was chatting and gushing and going over the night.

While I dropped a little bit the next afternoon, in the weeks that have passed, I realized how brave I was and how I really opened up to this new experience. If nothing else, I’d say I totally went all-in.

The takeaway is I’m kind of addicted to these sorts of parties and next time, I’ll know a little better what to expect and how to handle all of it. Because, yes, I’m going to make sure there’s a next time.

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The Party Sub, Part Seven

Sir’s friend Star is really amazing with rope. After spending a lot of time in it herself, she got good enough at it that she could start to spot the errors that people were tying her up were making. So, she became a rope top out of the frustration that she was experiencing with dom(me)s who couldn’t learn the ropes. Go figure.

Prior to the party, Sir asked if I would be okay with her tying me up and I agreed provided she would actually be into it. As we continued down the stairs from the loft, we encountered her in the main room and I asked her if she’d be interested in hogtying me. It’s kind of my favorite way to be tied with rope and, after asking about my limits and any kind of joint issues, she agreed.

Sir helped me down onto the carpet and I rested my cheek against it as Star got her rope out. She was super gentle, checking in every so often as she wound the rope over my cuffs before gathering my feet up and bringing them close to my hands. I breathed deeply, letting myself relax into the position. 

“Does that feel all right?” Star asked when she tied off the last knot carefully. As she leaned up, her hair swept over my back and I shivered.

I nodded, “it’s great, actually.” It sincerely did feel totally great. The rope was snug, but comfortable. 

“Do you want me to feed you some grapes?” Sir joked, but there were no grapes. He tried feeding me a cube of cheese out of his hand, but for some reason eating cheese while hogtied and subspaced on a floor is really freaking difficult.

Star has these really nice, long nails and she started to trace them up and down my back. I moaned and buried my face into the carpet, not sure what the etiquette was for telling my boyfriend’s friend that it felt really good and that I was getting turned on.

Someone sat down on my other side and it was the girl from the loft. She smiled and smoothed some hair from my face. “Now, how’d you get into this?” she asked. “Do you remember me?”

“Of course, Miss,” I replied, and she sat with me for a little bit before biting my shoulder again and moving along. I heard voices, but I wasn’t sure how many people were around, and that idea really got to me in a strangely good way. 

At one point, a girl laid down next to me and, in a Russian accent, expressed that she “didn’t know enough English to tell me how hot this was” and then asked if she could touch my butt. It’s the most attention I’ve ever received while submitting, and the whole thing was a little overwhelming to the point that I felt like I was high.

When Star untied me, she checked in to make sure I had enjoyed myself and gave me a hug. Sir released my wrists from the cuffs and kissed me. Some people were heading over to the hot tub, and I expressed that it might just be what I needed after this extensive foray into exhibitionism.