A good way to not address the fact that I am posting a really blushy and humiliating photo to be the bravest girl ever is to tell a funny story:
I showed Sir this picture yesterday and he was like, “mmm is that Pup’s hand?”
And I’m like, “no sillyhead it’s yours.”
So let’s establish that when I send my boyfriend a random picture of HIS OWN HAND and my butthole, he recognizes my butthole.
It’s really humiliating to admit this, but Sir and I (and also Pup and I) are playing a lot with me humiliating myself so here goes. The last few asks made me pretty wet. Here’s me admitting that they made me very wet and that I want very badly to touch myself over them. I’m not allowed to unless I admit how much of a slut I am. Now I’m going to go blush and hide forever.
I’ve suddenly gotten kind of interested in the kind of humiliation and degradation that has always made me so anxious in the past.
Don’t get me wrong – it still makes me anxious. But that’s weirdly part of the appeal.
Also, Pup gave me a task to do this week and it’s the first non-bedroom D/s-type thing we’ve ever ventured into doing and it’s a little humiliating and I don’t know if I can actually bring myself to do it and that’s the best part.
Ugh, and of course Sir is totally on board with the idea. Whine.
What I wouldn’t do to get away and go to the beach in this weather.
For my next birthday, I want a bimbo princess party, too!
LOOK IT’S IVY
Yeah I saved this a whole year. Do you blame me???
I’ve been talking since the summer about the tallies and how, when I reached eight, Sir was going to make me drink a cup of my own piss. One ounce per tally.
Back in October when Sir came to visit, I was up to five tallies. Now, writing this, I am still up to five tallies. However, I’m significantly less worried about it, mostly because I’ve already drank Sir’s now. (It really kind of puts stuff in perspective?)
When he visited in October, he had me get down on my knees in the shower and drink it. He already sometimes pissed on me in the shower, but this was something I’d never done before. He’d had plenty of water beforehand, mercifully, but it wound up getting in my eyes and nose and making it hard for me to breathe. Because of that, I started laughing nervously, which may have ruined the mood a little bit.
But, yeah, drinking my own piss now? I don’t know, doesn’t seem like the biggest deal anymore.
One day, I think, I’d like to be shoved into a room full of people with markers. Or lipstick. Or whatever.
I’m going to my first official legit play party without Sir tomorrow night. It’s the first time I’m ever going to one without him. He took me to my very first one and I’m a little anxious to not have him there to watch out for me and take care of me.
Instead, Pup and one of his partners (I WILL GET YOU CAUGHT UP I FREAKING PROMISE) and I are going there together, and I’m talking to Sir about all the blushy stuff I’m allowed to do there. Naturally, the conversation is dipping into kind of Daddy/little territory.
A highlight I’m squirming like crazy over is: “Fine, you can cum twice but only in public and if you suck that boy’s dick in front of everyone.”
Eep.
You’re fucking disgusting and everyone knows it.
Something super super brave and blushy happened last night and I need to double my efforts to catch you up on everything from September to now because holy crap.