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“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed.” – The Little Prince.

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I miss the feeling of being all tangled up in a sea of legs.

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I’ve never been able to sleep through the whole night with someone holding me. I fidget too much or something doesn’t fit right or I just need some space.

He’s the first and the only person I can do this with. The first time I woke up like that, I was shocked. Now, we just default to this.

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The Party Sub, Part Eleven

I wish I could say that the evening ended on this amazing note and Sir and I came home and fucked each others’ brains out. But this wasn’t really the case. I had a wonderful night, but a lot of things compounded by the end of it made it a little rough.

I was tired, subspaced and starting to experience a pretty extreme sub drop. I was feeling some shame. When Sir and I tried to fuck in the loft, I couldn’t even get wet. I sucked his cock, but I kept getting distracted and nervous. There were some people up there messing around as well, and for the first time I was hyper-aware of it and it made me really insecure.

So, Sir just let me lie down and he held me, kissing me behind my ear and letting me come down from everything. Star came upstairs and cuddled up with us, and at some point the three of us just fell asleep. 

When we woke up, I got dressed and Sir and I gathered our things and left. In the cab back, I started to feel better and even a little proud of myself. While I had left the party being quiet and a little short, by the time we were on the road, I was chatting and gushing and going over the night.

While I dropped a little bit the next afternoon, in the weeks that have passed, I realized how brave I was and how I really opened up to this new experience. If nothing else, I’d say I totally went all-in.

The takeaway is I’m kind of addicted to these sorts of parties and next time, I’ll know a little better what to expect and how to handle all of it. Because, yes, I’m going to make sure there’s a next time.

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My flight is cancelled until Sunday.

I’m pouting like crazy because my inner control freak just isn’t having it.

But my Daddy reminded me that it’s some extra time with loved ones. So I’m trying to have some perspective and I’m off to take a little nap with Sir.

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Currently hanging out on my couch with Sir, watching Jon Stewart on Hulu, while he rubs my feet. Life is good.

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So maybe puppies are a little less sophisticated and independent, but it seems like a pretty fair trade-off, all things considered.

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Easing out the Kinks, Part Five

When we got back into Penthouse’s, his family was home. I hoped the flush had died down in my cheeks as I hung up my coat and we went to go hang out in his bedroom.

While we waited for Craftsmate to arrive, Penthouse received a text from Popcorn. I asked him to say hi for me and he handed me his phone and told me to say hi for myself. For some reason, for how much bravado I can have with men, I get really bashful when it comes to flirting with women. This is especially the case when it comes to Popcorn, which Penthouse finds hilarious. So, he always tries to encourage me to flirt with her a little.

In the middle of this, Craftsmate called and said he was downstairs. Being a little mean, Penthouse put the clamps on my nipples, though significantly looser, and told me I would have to tell Craftsmate all about it as he tucked the chain discreetly into my bra. While I started blushing, Penthouse and I took the elevator down and found him waiting in the lobby.

I was happy to see Craftsmate, but I was unsure how stuff would pan out after some tensions had arisen a few days prior. He gave Penthouse one of those bro hugs and claps on the back before leaning down to kiss me.

The elevator doors closed and we began the slow climb up to Penthouse’s apartment in what was probably the most awkward, loaded elevator rides ever.