The only thing keeping me from going to really dark places,
is the fear that I won’t want to come back.
shower
“To crave and to have are as like as a thing and its shadow. For when does a berry break upon the tongue as sweetly as when one longs to taste it, and when is the taste refracted into so many hues and savors of ripeness and earth, and when do our senses know any thing so utterly as when we lack it?” ― Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping.
Pup and I finally have a big enough shower that we can actually shower together without ending up elbowing each other every other second. It’s the best.
I would probably cry the whole time. Which is why I want it.
“But no one gives us any time anymore.”
Sir and I are somewhere special. It’s his anniversary gift to me and it’s amazing.
He was trying to take pictures of me showering and be sexy. When I saw them, I proceeded to freak out because I can’t win.
I haven’t worked out very much since I’ve been visiting him which has made me a little nuts. This was the only photo I was basically remotely okay with and it sucks that I can’t just relax and enjoy myself here and have a fun, sexy time with him.
Fuck.
Halfway There, Part Twelve
My mind was moving a thousand miles a minute and I could barely process what was happening as I strode into the kitchen. There was a weird disconnect between what was going on in my head and how I was behaving. Outwardly, I was confident, quick, maybe a little cruel. Inside, I was nervous. My jaw was shaking.
“Now, where’s the bowl you’re supposed to piss in?” I asked, picking up a collander that was on the counter. “Sure hope this isn’t it, huh? That would be embarrassing."
I knew that I couldn’t actually make her piss into the a bowl. For all the bravado, I was kind of petrified. The only time I’ve ever been this dominant was with Switch, and it was after I’d known him for a while. This was more performative, more new. I was scared at any second I’d fail at maintaining the facade and would totally drop out of character.
Meanwhile, Lida was whimpering and setting a bowl on the floor. I sucked in a deep breath and pointed to the bathroom door, "get in there, you’ll piss in the tub.”
“Okay,” she replied, getting to her feet.
“Okay?” I repeated. “Honestly, are you kidding me? I’m being nice to you and you’ve got the most piss-poor manners. What do you say to me?”
“I have to pee,” she stammered.
“You say ‘please,’ ‘thank you,’ and ‘I’m sorry.’ That’s all I want to hear from you,” I ordered.
She shifted from side to side. “Okay.”
I looked over to Flint, “is she fucking stupid or something? I told her what to say and she still doesn’t say it.” He chuckled. I motioned to the bathroom once more, “get in there, would you?”
Lida scrambled over to the bathroom. Flint shot me a smirk and I just shrugged, winking before following Lida inside.
Hey 5’1 Shower Buddy,
Come on in.
The water’s fine.
Dear Followers,
Your “applications” for shower buddy are the cutest, funniest, and bestest ever. I’m not ignoring you. I’m simply pouting that you’re all anons.
What is the fun of that?
<3,
Ivy
Applications for shower buddy now open.