This is pretty much Kitten when she tries to be mean and scary.

HEY.

Me: I think one of the first purchases I am going to make once I’m like done with grad school and settled in wherever is a really good iron.
Sir: My cock just twitched.

Me: Why is she plunging her pussy in step 5?
Sir: Ivy, that’s the penis.

Because I’m a dork.

Me: Am I a good cocksucker?
Sir: You’re a great cocksucker.
Me: Am I the best cocksucker?
Sir: Uh huh.
Me: Good. Because, I wanna be the very best.
Sir: You are.
Me: …like no one ever was.
Sir: (shakes head)
Me: To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.
Sir: Sweetheart, you’re too silly.

Game

Me: I think [fairly successful colleague] likes me because I act like I’m not that impressed with him.
Sir: Wow, Ivy.
Sir: Got that game strong babe.
Me: Listen, you have no idea. I used to get it good before I settled down with your little butt.
Sir: Haha.
Sir: I didn’t need any game to get you.
Sir: You just fell into my life oops.