Hello, vices.

“Daddy, I think you’re lying. I don’t see your friend’s earring anywhere.”

“Keep looking, sweetheart. We’ll just be waiting right over here.”

This one not so much.

So, I now have the wee bittiest crush on Kayden Kross.

Which actually means I have a gigantic crush on Kayden Kross and I want to ride away into the sunset with her on her beautiful horse.

Whatever.

The teensy tiny little girly part of me sort of wants this.

Provided it locks.

From the outside.

Sometimes, she tried to be coy and hide herself away. That was remedied fairly easily.

So, this swimsuit is now a mission.

And you’re all on it, followers.

I was jaded. I didn’t believe in love at first sight. But, I don’t need take this thing out to dinner to realize that I need to spend the rest of my life with it.

And, so, you’re all on a mission now tumblr: Unite me with my love. Seriously, figure out where I can find this swimsuit.

I might even post a picture of myself in the darn thing if you do.

Please don’t hold me to that, but yeah. Find this suit.

I’ll admit part of me swooned when you referenced Mauss. But part of me almost felt violated.

I sometimes feel too well-known when people read the same books as I. I feel like they have a part of me that way and I, by extension, have a part of them by knowing what they’ve read. I start to associate them with the work. They become part of it

It’s not the same with movies. There’s just something about books.

But that’s the very spirit of the gift, isn’t it? You give me part of yourself and I’m indebted. I give you some of me and you’re in my debt. And you know how I feel about power exchanges.

It’s funny to remember you as you were before you existed, subtle visitor. You know how I’ve suffered getting accustomed to you.

New Year’s Eve: Part 4

So, maybe Pink was a little bit trashy. And maybe she wasn’t terribly intelligent or interesting. And maybe she made tacky jokes and had a trampstamp. And maybe, after kissing me at midnight, she very crudely described how much she was looking forward to eating my pussy. But, ugh, tumblr, sometimes I just do silly things for girls with pretty lips.

Walter and Drew seemed to be sharing the affections of the freckled hottie. She was funny, charismatic, absolutely lovely. And Freckles and I seemed to be having some interesting conversation as well when I suddenly heard a loud crash.

Pink had dropped a bottle and had glass in her hand. I rushed over, helped her out, cleaned her up, and found someone sober to take her home. As I was on my way back to join my friends, I was stopped by a guy I had not yet met.

“You’re a good person, you know,” he said, “not shallow at all.”

“Oh, if she was ugly, I wouldn’t have fussed,” I joked and extended a hand, “I’m Ivy.”

New Year’s Eve: Part 3

“Ivy, you look like a girl who can throw!” exclaimed a friend of the hostess who had I met a few times before. “Come be my partner for beer pong.”

I snorted, “you’ve got the wrong girl.” But, I was in the team spirit, so I decided to go join him. “I’ve got warn you, though,” I said as he arranged the cups, “I’ve never played beer pong before.”

Let me tell you, tumblr. I haven’t found my calling, but I did employ some old skills. Across the table, on the other team, was a hottie with a bunch of tattoos and some pink in her hair. So, we’re going to call her Pink. I think her male partner was cute, too. Whatever. Didn’t pay him too much attention.

But, I did pull the top of my dress down a little to try to distract him, but she seemed damn into it as well. So, I hammed it up, wiggled my butt, acted cute. I even saved the game through a combination of diving across a rug for the ball (hence my skinned knee) and sinking the last ball.

Not to mention Pink followed me back over to Drew and Walter, who were chatting up some freckled cutie.

Scoreeeeee.

Lately, I’ve been having nightmares about being discovered. They feel incredibly real. I wake up feeling unsettled and anxious. This doesn’t bode well.