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Maybe there’s something a little sick about it. The fact that I gravitate to pastel colors and bridal lingerie for play parties or that I enjoy feigning innocence in the midst of doing something depraved. I like being the one sweet little outfit in a sea of leather and fishnets. I like feeling impressionable and corruptible. I like how there’s something inherently a little more perverse about an outfit like that than a mesh bodysuit.

I’ve spent a lot of time shaming myself about the stuff I’m into or finding places to draw arbitrary lines where “this” is okay and “this” isn’t. I’ve done a lot of useless work of sorting through which taboos are still acceptable and which are simply just too far. Frankly, it’s just gotten counterproductive and exhausting. 

So, yeah, I’m a little sick. But I am getting better at accepting these facets of myself. 

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This gif is making a pretty strong campaign for hottest thing I’ve seen in a while.

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Can I just get to a stage in my life where I have excuses to just wear something like this under a coat and go to a certain type of party every weekend?

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I’d probably die a thousand times over if I had to look at myself getting eaten out which is why I kind of really want to do it sometime except not at all except maybe sure.

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Sir’s got a big job interview thing tomorrow. So, naturally, I called him up and made sure he was going to bed. And bright and early tomorrow, I’m making him call me to confirm that he’s up and ready and alert. Because part of serving him isn’t just all the sexy stuff, and I’m very glad to do it. 

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The Party Sub, Part One

It was the first time I was wearing garters and I had bought entirely the wrong kind of stockings for them. They were thigh highs, but I was in such a rush that I didn’t ensure they would attach correctly to the bustier I was wearing. So, they took a while to force and my first few attempts were fruitless. By the time I reached the party, all but one had detached themselves.

I was incredibly nervous as Sir and I rounded the block towards the apartment. The past week, I had looked over the Facebook event and at the faces of people and how everyone seemed to know each other. I realized, aside from maybe three people that we knew, Sir and I would be walking into this cold. 

Otherwise, everyone seemed to know each other, seemed so unreasonably attractive, seemed to totally have their shit together. Sir and I were on the younger side for the group and both had some anxieties about entering into what seemed to be a pretty established little posse. 

The structure of the party was that prior to midnight we’d have time to mingle with people before the clothes came off and the fun began. But, I’m pretty awful at mingling, especially if there’s some kind of an agenda behind it. Not to say I had an agenda, but to say that it would be kind of hard to avoid that these people would be naked in a little over two hours.

“Don’t be so nervous, sweetheart,” Sir said as we approached the door. I fidgeted with the remaining strapped garter under my dress and it snapped off of the stocking. 

We buzzed ourselves in and started up the stairs. In front of the door was a rack for shoes and another for our coats. After we had shed both, I gave Sir a kiss and he reached out to knock on the door.

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“The conversation of kisses. Subtle, engrossing, fearless and transforming.” – Alice Munro, Runaway.

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At first, she protested, insisted she couldn’t. It was too stringent, too uncomfortable. It was cruel and unusual. But once the gag – however ineffective – went on, she already felt herself start to fall asleep.

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andreii-tarkovsky:

– How does it feel to being the poster girl for the sexual revolution?

– It’s just a goof, to me it’s a movie. Like any other movie, only it has so many better things in it. 

– Like what?

– Like me. 

Craftsmate and I were looking at this yesterday and he said it reminded him of Ms. Casey

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I want sweet, delicate little things like these that I can squirm around in.