In the middle of a fun and crazy weekend away with friends.

Sometimes you just need it.

Last night, I brought one of my best friends in my “vanilla” circle to a munch.

I was super nervous about the whole thing. I’d never truly mixed those two friend groups before besides bringing Pup to a party once. So, I wasn’t sure what she’d make of my kinky friends, and I wasn’t sure if this was too much throwing her into the fire after she’d admitted to me that she might be a switch and wanted to see the community.

However, she held her own wonderfully. I did my best to sort of shield her from some of the creepier dudes, so she ended up hitting it off with (what I consider to be) some of the best people I know in that community.

She was also super, super tolerant of the more relaxed attitudes towards overt sexuality that the group has. She didn’t flinch when worthlessrapemeat showed off some of her photographs, and even offered some of her own (!!!!) up to the group.

But the highlight of the evening was probably when we were talking to some people about preferences (I had to cutely remind her that the word she was looking for was “switch”) and I identified as, “about 99% submissive.” Her jaw dropped and she exclaimed rather loudly, “YOU’RE the sub? With him?” He pointed to Pup and I nodded. Suddenly, her eyes got even wider. “With…with CRAFTSMATE?!”

“You know,” I teased Pup, “she thought you’re my sub. Maybe she’s onto something.”

Later on, Pup ended up showing her (with my permission) a photo of me tied up on my bed. (Yeah I know I’ve got to catch you guys up on him and I. Patience!) I was clothed, curled up and my face was covered by my hair, so it wasn’t quite blushy enough to make me die on the spot. She smiled and looked over at me, “it’s so different to see you like that. It’s kind of nice.”

Or partners.

Vanilla, Monogamous Friend: So what do I call the people who aren’t your boyfriend? Dates? Lovers?
Me: Slaves.

I was on my first date with Nilla when it happened. We were walking down the street. He was holding my hand. We rounded a corner and bumped into my friend, hair tied on top of her head, yoga mat under her arm.

“Hey,” she said.

We both greeted her and as we walked away, trying to hide my panic, I asked if Nilla knew her. He didn’t.

Once I had gotten home, I quickly called her up and asked if she wanted to get a cup of coffee. I wanted to explain why I had been walking around holding a guy’s hand who wasn’t my boyfriend’s and I realized that I would probably have to out myself to her if I wanted to genuinely address what she had seen. She said we could meet that evening.

The rest of the day, I was nervous. By the time we got together, I’d rehearsed a thousand versions of my explanation. Recently, I’d been at a party and kissed a cute girl in front of a friend, who called me a week later to say she wasn’t sure how to respond to the fact that she’d seen me cheat on my boyfriend. I’d explained to her our situation, and she was supportive, even saying that the nature of our relationship proved its strength.

But this particular friend I had barely known a year. I wasn’t sure how she would react. With nothing to lose but maybe some respect, I was honest. The cafes were full, so we met up at a place that could best be described as half-assed stoner fast food. Nervous and a little disgusted, I barely touched what I ordered.

“Oh,” she replied and shrugged, “you two looked happy. Does your boyfriend see other people, too?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Cool,” she said. And that was the end of that.

So I’m coming out as poly right now over text to one of my best friends

Let’s see how this goes.

Eek.

Last night was absolutely wonderful and I had to slip this little tidbit into the queue because I am literally that freaking elated.

Sir was super sweet and brought a cake. For someone who has three things to deal with in one week (anniversary, Christmas, birthday), he handled it like a pro.

Nothing sexy to report from the night besides the fact that I am a happy Ivy.

theniftyfifties:

Cocktail Party, Chicago, 1957. Photo by Francis Miller

I’m going out with some of my favorite people tonight and I’m pretty ready to do this birthday princess thing 100%.

Also, thank you for the kind messages! I promise to reply this weekend.

So, I’ve got a teensy hangover.

But it was worth it in recovering from having to deal with relatives visiting this past week and having to sit still at home while Sir went out on a first date yesterday afternoon.

Sir has made some progress on the ethical nonmonogamous front and I am super happy and proud of him. In fact, I was very excited for him today.

But the jump from theoretical to real got me a little bit and while I’m still feeling positively about it, I do feel a little bit blah.

So I’m headed out tonight with some friends to distract myself appropriately.

I once complained about how my whole life has basically existed in one two hour radius prior to moving.

Which makes me sad when I’m not there.

But is lovely when I come home.

I’ll be busy tending to that radius and getting caught up for the next few days, tumblr. I promise I’ll answer your questions and messages soon.