Because he likes brave girls best of all.
brave
I’m going to my first official legit play party without Sir tomorrow night. It’s the first time I’m ever going to one without him. He took me to my very first one and I’m a little anxious to not have him there to watch out for me and take care of me.
Instead, Pup and one of his partners (I WILL GET YOU CAUGHT UP I FREAKING PROMISE) and I are going there together, and I’m talking to Sir about all the blushy stuff I’m allowed to do there. Naturally, the conversation is dipping into kind of Daddy/little territory.
A highlight I’m squirming like crazy over is: “Fine, you can cum twice but only in public and if you suck that boy’s dick in front of everyone.”
Eep.
Hi so I absolutely am going to bed but I just need to announce somewhere in a chorus of squealing and joy that I finally sort of basically outed myself as non-monogamous in the sense that I invited a non-primary partner to a party I was hosting and didn’t try to awkwardly pass him off as just a friend in front of my cohort and friends.
Sir’s been encouraging me to be brave about this for so long and I finally took the risk and texted him about it right after and he’s so proud so I’m all glowy.
And I thought my friends would be weird about it but instead the feedback I mostly got was, “so, he’s really hot.” and, “look at you dating two really good-looking, interesting men.”
Poly success!
You’re fucking disgusting and everyone knows it.
Something super super brave and blushy happened last night and I need to double my efforts to catch you up on everything from September to now because holy crap.
Sometimes, I don’t even know where the line is anymore.
One day, I’m going to be brave enough to spend most of a play party like this. Just crawling after Sir, keeping quiet while he socializes and flirts, letting other people play with me to demonstrate how obedient I am.
OMG those boots! *droool*
Last night, I brought one of my best friends in my “vanilla” circle to a munch.
I was super nervous about the whole thing. I’d never truly mixed those two friend groups before besides bringing Pup to a party once. So, I wasn’t sure what she’d make of my kinky friends, and I wasn’t sure if this was too much throwing her into the fire after she’d admitted to me that she might be a switch and wanted to see the community.
However, she held her own wonderfully. I did my best to sort of shield her from some of the creepier dudes, so she ended up hitting it off with (what I consider to be) some of the best people I know in that community.
She was also super, super tolerant of the more relaxed attitudes towards overt sexuality that the group has. She didn’t flinch when worthlessrapemeat showed off some of her photographs, and even offered some of her own (!!!!) up to the group.
But the highlight of the evening was probably when we were talking to some people about preferences (I had to cutely remind her that the word she was looking for was “switch”) and I identified as, “about 99% submissive.” Her jaw dropped and she exclaimed rather loudly, “YOU’RE the sub? With him?” He pointed to Pup and I nodded. Suddenly, her eyes got even wider. “With…with CRAFTSMATE?!”
“You know,” I teased Pup, “she thought you’re my sub. Maybe she’s onto something.”
Later on, Pup ended up showing her (with my permission) a photo of me tied up on my bed. (Yeah I know I’ve got to catch you guys up on him and I. Patience!) I was clothed, curled up and my face was covered by my hair, so it wasn’t quite blushy enough to make me die on the spot. She smiled and looked over at me, “it’s so different to see you like that. It’s kind of nice.”
Here’s my contribution to herdirtylittleheart’s awesome #happybirthdayheart challenge.
I talk a lot about how Heart was one of the people pivotal in making me as brave(ish) as I’ve become. So, I wanted to do something super brave for this. It ended up sort of happening on the fly, but I’m thrilled with the result.
My vanilla friends and I took a crazy road trip to climb a crazy thing. Something you should know about me is that I hate hate hate hate hate heights. I didn’t think I’d actually end up going up to the top. But, somehow, I did.
I was so high on adrenaline and so ecstatic that I pulled my pants down to moon the distance I’d climbed and asked one of my vanilla friends to take a picture of my butt.
And you know what? She did it!
I maybe would’ve made a few different artistic choices had I been in charge, but here’s my offering to the Birthday Game. Recently, I was speaking to Heart about how awesome and brave people are being, and how inspirational it is to see what being brave means to each person. What I did here was an important step on two fronts in my life: conquering my anxiety-related fears and being my full, unabashed self in front of my friends.
On the way down, one of my other friends leaned over and said, “I think what you did was great. A lot of people would go up and carve their name into a tree or something. But this is something you can have from a time you did something wild and brave to always remember how that felt.”
So Happy Birthday, Heart. Your presence on this site is important and inspiring. Thank you for the excuse/opportunity you’ve given us this month.
So I did something really, really brave and kind of nuts last night with some cool people from the munch I went to last week.
I’ve got kind of a crazy story to tell, if I ever get up the nerve to tell it.
I stayed up late last night talking to Sir about a really dark, scary fantasy I’ve got. And it wasn’t even that he reciprocated interest in it that got me, it was the fact that he was patient and affectionate about it. He reassured me that, yeah, I’m a little sick, but it’s in a good way and these fantasies are perfectly okay within the context of a consensual, respectful, loving relationship, where eventually the “scene” stops and there’s plenty of aftercare.
Have I mentioned that I have the best owner ever?