I’m erotic but uninterested, this is probably how prince feels
Month: December 2014
Sir, one of his partners and I are going to a play party later tonight. My outfit is 98% fringe and not much else. It’s gonna be awesome.
It’s the first time I’m meeting this partner and I’m a little nervous but also a little excited.
“Am I too sensitive or do I have the right to actually to be upset?” A musical.
Oh, so.
My birthday’s in a week.
You can all start treating me like a princess now to prepare.
That Time Pup Was Celibate For a Little Bit, Part Five
Pup was leaving my place one night when somehow I figured out he was carrying his knife on him.
“You’re not supposed to be,” I badgered. I had been leaning up against my door while he was putting on his boots.
He got up to his feet. “Says who?”
I crossed my arms over my chest, “why are you even carrying it?”
“Because I want to.”
Feeling a little coy, I asked to see it. I jumped a little in my skin when he flicked it open. When he took hold of my hand and unfolded my fingers, I froze. Carefully, he pressed the knife into my palm, making sure not to break the skin.
“Pretty sharp, huh?” He was grinning.
I blushed. “Uh huh.”
My face was still burning when he left.
One day, I think, I’d like to be shoved into a room full of people with markers. Or lipstick. Or whatever.
That Time Pup Was Celibate For a Little Bit, Part Four
Pup and I started on this trend of getting together to study, flirting, and then parting ways before we did something regrettable. Usually, we went to a cafe or another neutral place, as if we were following those 1950s sex ed videos that tell you not to get alone in cars with the opposite sex. But, one night, he came to my house.
Halfway through, the topic of plot inconsistencies in porn came up and how that sort of stuff can ruin a perfectly good porn. So, I brought up an example and somehow we ended up watching it. You know. For research purposes.
The only problem was that I forgot how absolutely hot the video was otherwise, and so I’m stuck sitting there kind of awkwardly getting turned on next to a person I’m attracted to but can’t do anything with. We were mostly just talking and joking about it, but every so often we’d get really quiet when stuff got particularly hot. So, I’m trying really hard to behave and I was debating turning the thing off when thankfully Pup spoke up first.
“I didn’t realize men don’t actually hold off that long when I first started watching porn,” he said. We’d been speaking previously about starting a porn company and focusing doggedly on storyline in our videos, spitballing silly hypotheticals.
“Duh,” I replied, “number one, it’s their job, so they master that shit. Number two, maybe there’s a fluffer?” I felt myself blushing and elaborated, “kind of always thought it would be hot to be a fluffer.”
“Yeah?” He asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, like a universal one for a studio,” I said, kind of pausing a moment to gauge his reaction before continuing, “like just get tied up somewhere, have people come over and get themselves hard on me, you know.”
“Tied up like that?” Pup asked, gesturing to the girl in the video. She’d been secured on her back, thighs flat up on her torso, feet near her face.
I blushed. “Yeah, maybe like that.”
“I think you’d like that,” he teased. “We start making porn, fine, you’re the fluffer.
"Do you have any idea how wet I am?” I asked.
Pup reached down the front of my jeans. He smirked and drew his hand back. “Pretty wet.”
“Yeah,” I huffed. “Pretty wet.”
There was a palpable energy in the room, a full and heavy silence. We didn’t want to mess anything up by going too quickly. But, goddammit, tumblr.
That Time Pup Was Celibate For a Little Bit, Part Three
I should preface this part with the fact that a running thing Pup and I had before the whole celibacy thing was that he would jokingly threaten to show up at my office during my office hours and make me suck his cock. The idea of that kind of degradation made me endlessly blushy, and I would pout and insist that he would never, ever do that kind of thing. Obviously, he wouldn’t, but that didn’t stop him from using the idea to make me wet.
Once, he’d been over my house and, while we were sitting on my couch, brought that threat up because I was being a brat. His hand slid up my dress and he touched me while I begged him not to do it and apologized for being such a bad girl. He smirked and stopped before I could get off from it. When he left, I found myself embarrassingly wet.
Anyway, that evening I had agreed to meet up with Pup and do some work at a cafe. The place was crowded, but we found a row of counters facing a wall and sat down beside each other. Pup seemed to be doing all right, all things considered, and we more or less went about our work for the first hour or so.
Then, at some point, I’d made some bratty comment to Pup because the first rule of everything is that I’m 200% brat.
“I swear to God,” Pup said. “One day I’m going to come to your office and do whatever I want with you.”
I laughed. “You can’t. You’re celibate now. I wouldn’t want to tarnish your purity.”
He reached under the counter and put his hand on my leg, easing my skirt up a bit. “When I’m not anymore. I’m going to make you regret it.” He teased his hand over my thigh, “and you’re going to be very sorry.” His hand stayed there, no matter how much I pouted.
And that, my friends, was how I awkwardly left a little bit of a wet spot on a cafe chair. (Which I like totally wiped up and it’s a metal chair so it was fine okay.)
basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”
To everyone who sent me kind words – thank you. I had a lovely evening with Sir and ourlexielove who is 500% adorable and lovely .
A close childhood friend passed away yesterday in a rather bizarre, sudden and upsetting accident. I was really torn up about the whole thing. So, thank you for your kindness, everybody. I’m dealing with it by surrounding myself with good things and good people, and so far it’s working.
On a lighter note: take a look at the slice I drunkenly put away last night. I wish I could describe to you what a perfect end to the evening that slice of pizza was.