This is where my head ends up far too often.
The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)
fantasy
“I’m gonna tell you something you don’t want to hear.”
I just really need a day like this. It’s been a long time since I got to just let go.
I’ve seen a couple of people I’m friends with lately posting on FetLife looking for people to gangbang them (tis the season?) and I’ve been so tempted to ask around myself. Except I am entirely too shy to be like, “beloved penises in my life, please come and overwhelm me.”
But, I would really want Sir to be present for it so I felt safe and because he’d be in charge of me in a really hot way in that context. For now, unfortunately, it’ll just be relegated to fantasy.
A week or two ago I was talking to Pup about it and he was like, “well, okay, go find three other dicks. Right? You want like four people?”
I hid my face in my hands. “Maybe a little more?”
“Like seven?”
I rolled over and buried my face in my pillow. “Like ten, twenty.”
Hi, I haven’t been spitroasted in over a year. Something is *wrong.*
I’ve suddenly gotten kind of interested in the kind of humiliation and degradation that has always made me so anxious in the past.
Don’t get me wrong – it still makes me anxious. But that’s weirdly part of the appeal.
Lately, my head’s been going to some pretty dark places.
I’d like to be someone’s pretty little prisoner for a day.
2015, I’ve got plans for you.
I think I need a day where I’m just chained to somebody’s bed like this. I don’t need all that much attention, just to be used and feel useful every so often.