Current status.
Life is crazy busy and I’m a little overwhelmed with all the work I have to. I have been trying to push through, but ugh. The entire thing has made me beyond despondent.
Craftsmate’s been pretty great about being supportive, but I feel awful since I can’t really reciprocate in the way I need to. I’m not sure I’ll write about it yet, but we’ve been struggling to understand how to balance the “vanilla” and “chocolate” aspects of our relationship and the whole thing kind of came to a head the other day.
It’s hard to maintain that sort of thing when I can’t really serve him or be able to do things for him because I’m just plain swamped. I feel awful when I promise to do something and then when nighttime comes around I am just exhausted. And even though last night we had a little time to reconnect and take a shower together, the fact remains that I haven’t been fully holding up my end of the bargain, so to speak.
A follower sent me a message the other day that she showed her boyfriend my blog and they had a pretty awesome sexual experience as a joke. I was flattered and happy, but I felt a little bitter pang of “well at least my life is satisfying somebody’s boyfriend”.
This will pass, but ugh in the meantime.
Jonas Bjerre from Mew for Gaffa Magazine
Casper Sejersen, 2011
