See the look on her face? Yeah, I’d be that disturbed too if you RUINED MY FREAKING PIZZA. Seriously, don’t fuck with my pizza.
PS: Porn industry, you guys can be a bunch of knuckleheads.
PPS: The hilarious stoic look on his face. Oh my gosh.
did somebody order a large pie with extra sausage?
I have begun the daunting task of packing up my dorm to (eventually) move out (one day). I am literally drowning here in a sea of clothing, books, boots, heels, posters, photographs, dried flowers, sex paraphernalia, and school supplies.
“You won’t forget about me, Sir, will you? Promise?”
(via silent-musings)
Dear Dacry,
In response to your question, I don’t think tying me up, spanking me, and feeding me cupcakes should be limited to birthdays.
Okay, fine, maybe the cupcakes part.
<3,
Your tumblr girlfriend, Ivy
Um, yes, please. I was waaaay too into LaserQuest as a kid.
See tomboy child Ivy here.
This bra is actually glowing in the dark. Or maybe it’s the lighting, like they had in LaserQuest. Maybe she wore this bra in LaserQuest. Maybe she’s in LaserQuest right now, slipping out of this bra and while she shoots you in the back. Who wants to play LaserQuest with us?
My girl A and I pulled it out last night. And when I say “pulled it out”, I mean had an amazing time.
She’s literally just the best person in the world. Like my absolute “twin”. Which is kind of hilarious to say because, although we have the same sense of humor and very similar personalities, I’d say we’re pretty different.
A’s completely straight and completely vanilla. She’s active, but she doesn’t masturbate. I just couldn’t even imagine.
And so I naturally kind of kept my shit on lock when we first got close. Because, you know, I’m not entirely candid with people to begin with, but when she was the first one to break the floodgates and tell me about something sexual, I kept myself massively toned down.
The first time I told her the whole song and dance, we had been drinking. We were at a friend’s pregame and stopped by my room to pick up sweaters to wear over to the party since the weather had gotten very cold very suddenly. She asked me a question about something vaguely kinky, I answered, and then the floodgates got opened.
But, not by me, I was still incredibly tight-lipped. It was A who wanted to know everything. She asked to see the handcuffs, the nipple clamps, the vibrator, everything. I don’t think I would’ve gone along with it had I not had some liquid confidence. When we were finally heading out to go, I asked, “so, do you think you’re kinky?”
“Me?” she laughed, “hell no. I just find it fascinating.”
And that’s why I love this gal. We’re going out again tomorrow night and bringing this photo 200% (with some clothing on). She’d so be the one on the left.
With all the troubles of finals behind me, this gal’s heading out to make her own trouble.
Emma Watson by Ellen von Unwerth
Boom. I’m done with finals and sophomore year. Hear me roar.
I’ve just got to come out swinging.
This is seriously hilarious. The tropes in porn it plays on and then dismisses with logic are just perfect. Especially when he says, “but don’t you go to Catholic school?"
Seriously. The porn industry makes every Catholic schoolgirl seem like a closet whore. (And, okay, okay, there are a bunch). But the way he dismisses the double entendres and the random come-ons are perfect.
MAY THE 10TH. WHAT THE FUCK.
I wonder what’s so big about May 10th for me.