I’ve decided I need a little kitty/rope bottom buddy like immediately so let’s address this issue as soon as possible.
The Story of Olga by Ellen von Unwerth
ellen von unwerth
Tumblr going on queue for the next few days.
Stay warm, followers.
And stay naughty.
Ana Beatriz Barros by Ellen von Unwerth
That girl down the street seriously throws some of the best slumber parties.
And if you think this is rough:
You can’t even imagine what you have to do to get invited.
Ellen Von Unwerth
(via bohemea)
“I love Ivy. She’s a pistol."
I spent more than five minutes with my good friend’s current manfriend last night for the first time. And sometime during the night, he turned to my friend and said this.
I’m flattered, but ugh…I’m always the pistol. Or the character.
Ever since I was a little girl I intimidated the shit out of most men. Because I was smart and I was quick and I could head them off at the pass like no other. And I’m blunt and a little boisterous sometimes and I’ve been (really flatteringly) compared to Woody Allen.
Which is super if you’re a man, it seems. But it sends your average guy running for the hills. Women are mostly good with it, but God it’s hard finding available lesbians/bi girls on this campus (they’re either too close a friend or just unbearable or in a relationship).
And so I know the payoff is I’ll hopefully find someone who can handle all the (second time using it on this blog today) chutzpah, but it’s so frustrating to make a quip and have some guy take it totally seriously or have it go over their heads or to have them just write me off as a character or, eugh, a pistol.
kitten
photo: ellen von unwerth
vanity fair 2011
Hey, Dacry?
See that hand coming out from the left?
Gets you thinking, right?
I think we need to find ourselves a new friend.
<3, Ivy
Ellen Von Unwerth
Unfortunately, my life isn’t this glamorous.
Take, for example, the fact that I can’t sleep.
Happy Birthday, Heart! Please allow me to be a pervert and imagine that this is what your celebration looks like. Lots of sweets, lots of frolicking, lots of pretty. (And…squirting?)
Thank you. Have a wonderful day.
I just keep procrastinating doing my laundry. This won’t end well, I know it.
I just got done talking to my bestie, A. She is putting serious consideration into ending her relationship with her boyfriend for a variety of reasons that would keep them still on friendly terms, but are honestly just not appropriate for this tumblr. So, I tried to give her advice and remind her that I’ll be there for her through the entire thing. I care about her immensely and I am so flattered and glad that she turned to me for support on this.
However – and feel free to call me a terrible friend, a bad influence, what have you – I’m looking forward to all the trouble we can get into together again now.
Oh, tumblr, friends are such a valuable thing.
I just got back from a nighttime diner run with a good friend. Seated in the booth, we quickly drifted from some stuff that has been bothering us to sheer silliness. We tried to keep our voices down, although we were only a couple of the small handful of people there tonight. However, we were soon a mess of raucous laughter and flailing gestures as we discussed, of all things to talk about at a diner, anal.
Tonight was, in its own weird way, exactly what I needed.