Videos

Video

When I was driving home from the gym, this song came on the radio. SG had sent it to me a month or so after it came out. That enough sort of stung, but then:

“Well, I know that I’m not all that you got. I guess that I, I just thought, you and me would find new ways to fall apart.”

Elle once told me radios were psychic like that. Once, when she and I were fighting in her car, our song came on the radio and she patted the dashboard with a chuckle.

It all sort of felt like a cruel joke.

But it was really those words that got to me. I had never been too upset about his girlfriend beyond the occasional hiccup, never cared about his other hookups at all. This one made me feel gutted. I thought of them, briefly, together, and I actually felt nauseous.

And so I started screaming in traffic. Windows up, of course. 

I’m heading out in a bit to a friend’s 21st birthday. Hopefully it will take my mind off of everything. Odds are, I’ll probably need someone carrying me home tonight. Whatever.

Ivy out.

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
Video

“Every time I write, every time I open my eyes. I am cutting out parts of myself to give to you. So, shake the dust and take me with you when you do. None of this has ever been for me.”

There’s a lot I could say about this. About ideas, about sharing, about writing, about the human experience. About who I was when I first saw this video and who I am now. But I’m not going to sully it with anything further of myself. This is all yours as much as it is mine.

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
Video

I am sorely (pun pun giggle) overdue for a spanking.

That guy from my frat and I hung out and did work together today. After last night, I’m of the mind that I deserve a spanking. The fact that he hasn’t given me one is totally egregious. 

If I were a little ballsier, I’d send him this video as an example. But, I’m fairly sure he noticed the bow, so hopefully he can recognize that I’m repentant. Or up the ante a little and make me repentant himself.

Seriously, why am I not getting spanked right now? Also, where did the people behind this video go? They were great.

in-the-quiet-house:

sorely missed. 

anybody know where littlemissspankypants ended up?

eponymouslocate:

(Source: http://thinkivykink.tumblr.com/)
Video

The part where the two twelve year old girls agreed that a woman needed labiaplasty cut deep. It’s terrifying that they’ve grown up in such a way that they can become so judgmental of their own and other women’s anatomy. 

A confession: The first time I got fingered I apologized to the guy for my labia. No joke. I thought that my body and the way it had developed warranted an apology. Naturally, he was a little shocked that I would think that I needed to do that.

Because my family was very quiet about sexuality, I learned a lot about it from the Internet at a pretty young age. In hindsight, I wish it had not been that way, because it gave me a lot of unusual messages about how things were supposed to be and privileged certain pieces of information above others.

So I am terrified to see a twelve year old girl thinking that way because for a while I was that girl. I remembered learning about the surgery early on in high school and believing that I needed it. I actually considered saving money up so once I graduated and moved out I could “fix” myself.

I think we spend a lot of time sheltering young girls and not giving them the proper information about sex and sexuality. In a society that has become in many ways hypersexualized, the messages that come through are conflicted, uninformed and usually just flat-out wrong.

And let this be an opportunity for me to remind all my followers that they should be 18 and over. Thanks.

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
Video

Oh my God. I die. I just die.

Thank you, pushhertoherknees, for making my night.

I love how no one involved can even remotely take this shoot seriously. Like, what is this neighborhood? What is this reality this porn has created in which suburbia is plagued by lemon-stealing whores? When did lemons become so valuable? Even James Deen can’t handle the absurdity.

I’m fantasizing that this is the shoot Deen and Angel met. This is how their relationship was born. They fell in love over lemons, theft, and justice.

I just cannot stop laughing. Those first five minutes are just ridiculous. 

(Source: http://pushhertoherknees.tumblr.com/)
Video

My Simian Mobile Disco phase coincided with me coming to terms with my sexuality. So, naturally, when I found this video, my theories were confirmed. (Not to mention I totally set to plotting how to get this to happen.) And, while I’m totally nostalgic, I can only imagine the sleazy conversation, probably over some pizza and beer, that went on when they were writing the treatment.

“So, okay, it’s a bunch of girls at a party. And they’re sitting in a circle and they are playing telephone. And then…they all just start makin’ out, man.”

Which is fine by me, but apparently this is the UK version. The US version has a bunch of models on pedestals eating junk food and luxury items and then vomiting until their faces get all disfigured. Social commentary aside, why the hell did my country pass up girls making out at a party for a really creepy video with ralphing models?

Oh, America. You don’t make a lick of sense. 

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)