Also now Pup thinks he might be into latex so uh thanks Zoolander 2.
pup
You’re my ~ Beautiful Bookworm ~
A sweet/scary thing is that Pup and I have been talking about moving in together.
We realized in the time we’ve been dating, we’ve only taken showers together. And so one of those silly little things we’ve got in the back of our heads when we get around to looking for a place is that a tub would be really, really nice.
I have mentioned that Pup likes to put a pillowcase on my head and fuck me, right?
It’s like kind of the best/worst.
So on Valentine’s Day this year, in addition to taking pictures, Pup tied me up and taped my knockoff hitachi to my stomach so the head was resting on my clit. Then he left me like that a little bit, and then fucked me with the vibrator still buzzing on my clit.
I came so many times I couldn’t talk for a second. So that’s a thing.
Valentine, Part Six
Guys, I wish I could tell you this story ended on a sexy note. I wish I could say that this super hot threesome had a super hot conclusion. And part of the reason I’ve held up on writing the conclusion is that it unfortunately did not end in fireworks.
No. It ended in me getting punched in the vulva.
Here’s the thing about threesomes: it’s multiple bodies in a space. Shit can happen. You can accidentally neglect a person, or you can find it awkward to figure out who to touch when. You can run out of space or bump heads or roll off the bed. Or you can end up with someone’s knuckles colliding with your pubis. Which really hurts, guys.
But I think it’s important I share this, because this is how sex is. Sex is not a always beautifully orchestrated dance, it’s sometimes a lot of weird grinding or some fumbling. There’s sometimes some weird casualties. You can enthusiastically consent and have all your safewords at the ready and stuff can still go wrong. Sex is sometimes clumsy and weird even if the person you’re with is suave and collected. Sex has all kinds of strange sounds and smells. Sometimes sex is just straight up hilarious.
Sometimes you end up laugh-crying into your partners’ shoulder while they laugh-console you and the other laugh-apologizes. Because you accidentally elbowed someone in the ribs or kneed them in the stomach or, you know, got cuntpunched.
Sex in movies is quick, effortless, serious. Sex in most porn isn’t all that different. And I think the main thing I’ve learned in my less-than-a-decade of being sexually active is that sex is this totally unpredictable encounter that can tip over into slapstick, into the specific hilarity of the human body. And I’m okay with that.
Though I’d like to keep the whole getting accidentally punched in the groin thing to a minimum.
Happy Valentine’s Day from Pup and I. Here’s some blushy stuff.
Regarding my silence since announcing my weekend trip: it’s less that I’ve wanted to hold you all in suspense and more that I’ve been busy since I returned yesterday.
But some things:
- It was nice to see a certain bunny again.
- It was equal parts fun and exhausting to take the trip with Pup.
- I got flogged a lot and deer-skin floggers may be my ultimate problematic fave.
- These shorts/whatever you’d like to call them are from the aforementioned bunny. I never thought lace could be cozy.
In unrelated news, as of Saturday, we’re a month away from the five year (WHAT???) anniversary of this blog.
But more on that soon.
Pup and I are taking a road trip up north to see a certain bunny and have a weekend away.
Hehe. I did this for a certain someone this weekend while he looked at porn.
I can’t fall asleep for the life of me and Pup is totally out. So it’s just me and his dog lying awake like quiet night buddies because for some reason he’s up, too.
So, you know, if they aren’t totally out of style, send me asks or something.