Perfect cures for stress:
Consensus for today: life is good.
She says she hates fucking in this position. It makes her self-conscious about putting her body in full view. I’m not going to fuck her any other way from now on.
Can we discuss the degree of vanity that makes up my character where whenever I see a post on his blog that describes a “she,” I assume it’s me?
And then I’m like, “what are you talking about, I don’t say that.”
And then I’m all, “oh, right. It’s not always about me.”
Can I chalk this up to poly problems and not my own conceitedness? I was an only child, okayyyy?
…until you go on a date with a cute guy in the same poly community as you’re kind of in and then can kiss him because you’ve got the same cold.
#polybenefits
So, several of Flint’s partners have gotten colds over the past few days.
Of course, he’s not showing any symptoms.
And, of course, I’ve got a stuffy nose and a sore throat.
This is the definition of #polyproblems.
This disgusts me so much I want it.
Sometimes I wish I were a smoker just so I could degrade my girls like this.
I never thought I’d be able to see him use the phrase “my girls” and not feel like it looks unnatural. I guess I’m growing up or something.
So, I realize even though I’ve told you some stuff about my adventures with Woody, I really haven’t told you all that much about him and what’s still going on there.
He’s back in my old city. We get along really, really well, even though sometimes his inner straight white boy shows. But, he’s really sweet and funny, and I would be lying if I said he didn’t eat pussy like a champ.
He and I text every so often and go on Skype, and recently we had a talk about sort of what we are and how to proceed with long distance secondaryship, what our needs are, etc. I don’t know. It’s good now and I guess it’ll be good until it isn’t?
Oddly, he’s kind of into a very basic sort of kink, and I’m most interested in him and attracted to him when our clothes on and we’re just talking. Which is not to say that we don’t do really well with our clothes off, as well. But, it’s this strange kind of dynamic where I can talk to him for three hours about mutual interests and it feels like we’ve only been talking for five minutes, and the actual sexual interaction isn’t nearly as stimulating as that sort of stuff is.
A very special little Topless Tuesday with a very special little story.
When I showed up at the munch last night, I was overwhelmingly nervous. I was worried because the only person I knew was the guy from that super awkward situation and I’m just generally petrified of entering new situations like that. I’d planned to show up like twenty minutes late so I wouldn’t be too early and staring at my feet, but when I showed up, people were already deep in conversations.
Still, I managed to get into some good talks and meet some cool people. I was getting very comfortable when suddenly a man I was speaking to earlier brought over this super cute girl with curly blond hair and big, gorgeous eyes and introduced her to the group I was talking to.
Somehow, photography came up and she pulled up a picture of herself in the middle of a scene on her phone and showed it to me. It was enviably brave.
We got on the subject of tumblr and realized we both were operating kinky blogs. Nervously, she showed me the name of her blog. I recognized it as a blog Sir showed me stuff from rather often. So, there I was, talking to worthlessrapemeat, in the flesh. Someone who talked to my boyfriend and who followed up my introduction with, “oh, yeah, you post a lot of pictures of your butt.”
Her tumblr name’s worthlessrapemeat, but don’t let that fool you. She’s super interesting and adorable and intelligent and articulate. We hit it off and soon found ourselves flirting and holding hands under the table and giggling.
Oh, yeah, and making out in her car.
Which is where she took this photograph, which to me serves as a testament to a night where I was super brave and that courage totally paid off.
So, here’s to many more where that came from and new friends.
So the guy I went out with the other night and messed around with tonight just informed me that apparently his primary partner is not all right with what went down. While they’d talked it all out and whatnot beforehand, she’s really upset and uncomfortable, so he may not be able to see me anymore.
Which, ugh, sucks. Because I feel guilty, even though I know this isn’t my fault. And it stinks because I have to go to this munch alone tomorrow, which terrifies me. And I was like happy to think I’d found someone to have fun with out here.
Sigh. I hate this.
OH SO WAS NOBODY GOING TO TELL ME THAT HER HAD A SECRET POLY PLOTLINE THAT WAS JUST WAITING TO DESTROY ME?
No, I’m not even gonna get all “thar be spoilers.”
I just. Ugh. I can’t.
I’m learning more and more that I am young and wild but I’ve still got a fragile little heart that swells and hurts and swells and grows, just maybe.