SERIOUSLY

Flash Forward #3

Standard

For the other two flash forwards, click here. 

I’m on my knees on the wood floor of my bedroom. My hands are tied in front of me with my thick, grey scarf. I’m nude. Craftsmate is standing in front of me, dressed.

Somehow, things always sort of happen that way.

“Where are your nipple clamps?” He asks.

I whine, flailing my bound hands limply.

He smirks and crouches in front of me, reaching down to twist a nipple. “Where are they?”

“My dresser,” I gasp out. “Top drawer. Pink makeup bag.”

He gets up to his feet and pulls out the makeup bag. Rifling through it, he finds my knockoff hitachi. “Oh, hey, forgot about this,” he says and tosses it onto the bed. I roll my eyes.

“But I’m still sore,” I argue when he takes the clamps out of the bag.

“Oh, you thought they were going on your nipples?” He chuckles as he approaches me. “Turn around.”

Gallery

I have a massive crush on the girl from Drunk Kitchen.

Whatever.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to my American followers.

Gallery

thisexactmoment:

morethanthewhole:

thighighighhigh

Original photo source. Just in case anybody’s confused.

What is with taking a perfectly lovely picture of Heart’s leg and not only changing the source but freaking making it black and white? Seriously? It’s no more artistic or authentic or anything else. 

It’s like oh look at the Mona Lisa. It’s so unsophisticated in color. 

Excuse me…

Well, now look at how much classier it is in black and white. Despite the artist’s initial intention, I now prefer it by the strange implication that black and white works, especially in photography, are somehow much better than color works. Even if the photographer wanted the photograph to be in color, clearly we’re just doing them and the world a favor by altering the image to be black and white.

NEVER FEAR, GUYS. TODAY IS THE DAY THAT (He)ART WAS SAVED.

Gallery

ouyangdan:

Jimmy Kimmel: What if we forget? What if I forget to vote? 
Michelle Obama: If you forget? Well, I have a plan for that, Jimmy.

Oh. My. God.

Let’s go, guys.

Gallery

Well, tumblr.

All the schoolwork, partying, staying out late, messing around, organizing, campaigning, and general burning the candle at both ends has finally caught up with me and I am sick. So sick. Really. My voice sounds like Neil Young’s.

Right now, I need to focus on self-care but my head is running at 10,000 miles a minute over thesis, the election, schoolwork and everything else. 

Since I am not the proprietress of a latex straightjacket (I’m intrigued, though, okay?), let’s hope I find some way to hold still, just breathe, sleep properly, and get myself together.

Gallery

I don’t know how you other ladies do it, I am having so much trouble fitting into this binder.

Quote

What part of liberation for women is not for you? Is it the freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man that you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Vogue by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that stuff just get on your nerves?

Questions to women who are hesitant to identify as feminists by Caitlin Moran (via jordihall)
Gallery

church-mouth:

Yeah, FUCK OFF TSWIFT.
WE DON’T LIKE YOUR UNREALISTIC, PROBLEMATIC SHET. 

I am not ashamed to say that I have gotten into arguments with classmates, teachers, and other women in my life over why Taylor Swift is not actually a good role model at all for young girls. There’s a lot more to being a woman than crying over men and dreaming up fairytale romances. Thank you.

Gallery

So, odds are that viewer was not SG. As we talked tonight. And he’s the type to bring it up.

He did, ironically, suggest we make a blog together. But about something non-sexual. Because I tested the waters with, “people keep suggesting I make a blog but I don’t know what it would be about.” So. Yeah. Hah.

But, just to make sure it’s not SG, I’m going to post all the things about him that kind of annoy me. Because I have been far too nice to him on this tumblr.

  1. When I get too lazy to walk further down the hall and use the nearby men’s room instead and he decides to come in and pretend to be a stranger. Because he knows I won’t leave the stall until the other person leaves for fear of awkwardly getting caught. And so he just doesn’t leave and then starts laughing at me.
  2. When he comments on random pictures of me on facebook with the phrase “boobs”.
  3. The fact that he has effectively charmed my mother and formed a friendship with her completely independent of ours. And so they have fun ganging up on me.
  4. How sometimes he forgets context and calls me “slut”. Usually over text message. Usually when I’ve done something well. Usually in the phrasing: “Congratulations, slut.”
  5. When he calls me a dirty communist/hippy/vegetarian.
  6. When he declares that he’s the 1%.
  7. Numbers 5 and 6, when they happen during sex.
  8. When he intentionally says something blatantly offensive that he obviously doesn’t believe just to see me get angry and then laugh about how easily he got me upset.

Now do you all see what I have to put up with?