pussy

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Recently, Craftsmate took some super up-close pictures of my pussy after he had shaven it.

I don’t usually go looking down there. So, when he had me look at the pictures, I was confessedly almost surprised. I didn’t realize I looked quite like that.

I’ve mentioned on here that my labia minora are uneven and my adolescent self freaked out over this fact to such a degree that I was already considering labiaplasty in high school. Which I now realize is absurd. I also apologized for said labia the first time a guy got acquainted with my vagina. Which I now realize is also absurd.

But looking at it in his pictures, I couldn’t help but find the unevenness adorable. It kind of seemed like my vagina was sticking out its (her?) tongue.

And so I think, from now on, I’m just going to think of it that way.

😛

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Penthouse eats pussy well because he eats pussy like he really wants to.

Pardon my choice of image, but I couldn’t resist.

But, honestly, he eats pussy like it’s freaking delicious or it’s like the eve of the great pussy famine or we’re living in a socialist society and he had to wait on line in the snow for freaking hours for a meager ration of pussy but it was goddamn worth it.

And I don’t say this to inflate the guy’s ego as much as to give some advice here. Guys, girls and everything in between: if you’re eating a pussy, eat it like you did the first slice of pizza you ever had.

No, don’t bite it or anything. But, put some enthusiasm behind it. Kid on Christmas all over that pussy.

I’m ashamed to admit I had an ex fall asleep “down there”. Which is just as detrimental to the self-esteem as it is to the orgasm brewing down there.

For god’s sake, it’s not a chore. Have a little fun with it.

This has been an attempted story that instead turned into a rant. Whatever. I regret nothing. Yolo, carpe diem and all that noise.

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She’ll claim she just fell asleep that way. But you could hear that telltale contrived breathing of feigned sleep the second you walked into the room. You could see the stiffness in her limbs. You could see the twitch of a smile repressed as she heard you cross to the side of the bed. And, of course, if you were still in doubt, there’s always the pouring that will ensue when you apologize, tell her to go back to sleep, and turn to leave the room.