Penthouse eats pussy well because he eats pussy like he really wants to.

Pardon my choice of image, but I couldn’t resist.

But, honestly, he eats pussy like it’s freaking delicious or it’s like the eve of the great pussy famine or we’re living in a socialist society and he had to wait on line in the snow for freaking hours for a meager ration of pussy but it was goddamn worth it.

And I don’t say this to inflate the guy’s ego as much as to give some advice here. Guys, girls and everything in between: if you’re eating a pussy, eat it like you did the first slice of pizza you ever had.

No, don’t bite it or anything. But, put some enthusiasm behind it. Kid on Christmas all over that pussy.

I’m ashamed to admit I had an ex fall asleep “down there”. Which is just as detrimental to the self-esteem as it is to the orgasm brewing down there.

For god’s sake, it’s not a chore. Have a little fun with it.

This has been an attempted story that instead turned into a rant. Whatever. I regret nothing. Yolo, carpe diem and all that noise.