I miss living with him and being able to be silly and distracting on the couch.
couch
Full Service, Part Two
I should begin by saying I hate reading the things I write. Even if I think it’s well-done, I try to avoid hearing my words read aloud, either in my voice or someone else’s. It makes me feel too transparent. I can’t really explain it.
Except, I’ve never had anything dirty I’ve written about someone else read aloud. I’ve had dirty little notes I’ve written to people read back to me, and sometimes I’ve even been forced to read them aloud myself. But, it was always in my voice and about me and what I wanted.
All that said, I really, really enjoyed Bright’s reading of my story. Not only because it was removed from me and about a fictional couple, but because Bright did it damn well. It was sexy and adorable and sweet.
So, Craftsmate decided to see for himself how much I enjoyed it. He ordered me to pull it up on my phone and he plugged in a pair of headphones. After I put them in my ears, he hit play and watched with a smirk as I listened to the story.
Somewhere in the middle, I can’t tell when, I closed my eyes. And, somehow, Craftsmate wound up holding my face in his hand while pushing the thumb of his other in my mouth. And, yes, I wound up sucking it.
HOMMEMYSTERE – A QUALITY LINGERIE LABEL FOR MEN
A company that sells some very lovely looking lingerie for men.
Because if that’s what you’re comfortable, it’s good to know there’s a company out there who are happy to cater to you.
Well. Goodness. I feel quite flushed.
SO MUCH WIN.
I am 500 shades of more-than-just-okay with this.
“sorry, sweetheart. But that’s just how the bureaucracy works sometimes. I’ll let you out when I get around to it. Maybe in three to five business days.”
“All you know how to do is shake, shake.”
The socks are more than a little endearing.
“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness,“ Allen Ginsberg, in Michael Schumacher’s On Being a Writer.
TISSUE Magazine N°2.
At this point, she is in repose. She has surrendered, resigned herself to the fact that she no longer has any control over the situation. In this sense, more than if she were to be released, she is free.
I’m not nearly as fragile as I’m allowed to be. I’m given permission to collapse, to surrender, to let the cracks deepen until the secrets and fears and insecurities come oozing out. But, I’m nowhere close to being that breakable.
I’m sensitive, but I’m not inconsolable. I’m submissive, but I’m not codependent. I’m pliant, but I’m not weak.
To no one in particular, but perhaps to a good crowd: real domination is not grabbing someone by their insecurity, it’s grabbing them by their strength. It’s not about using or patching up vulnerability, it’s about allowing something unyielding and independent the opportunity to surrender. And there is the prize: controlling something that can very well control itself.
L’Accès ..*
While I was out with some friends earlier, SG and I started texting. While I have decided to postpone any more physical stuff with him until certain things clear up, I’m not opposed to the occasional something in my texts.
He does this thing where he’s so condescendingly dominant. He’ll call me things like adorable in a mocking way when I try to playfully assert myself. It makes me blush and feel so positively turned on. He’ll just tease me and it’ll drive me right up the wall in the best way.
I was feeling kind of frisky so I kept egging him on. I have to learn, however, not to dish out more than I can take. When he threatens to follow through in that way he does, it tends to weaken my resolve.