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Thank you for your support and patience through me posting Piss Shy. It dealt with some themes that I am super nervous about sharing on here, but you all were massively kind about it. 

Now comes the dilemma where my activities as of late have outpaced my writing speed. Which is totally a great problem to have.

So, you know, be patient as I try to catch up. I’ve got some fun stories on the way.

(Also, does anyone remember this show? It was absolutely absurd. I think I grew up to be Chicken. I don’t know how to feel about that.)

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So, after thinking really hard about the situation, I decided I needed to stop seeing Woody. Turns out, in the process of “dumping” him, I discovered what a good decision this actually was. But, the whole situation was 50000 shades of awkward. 

I had to do it over Skype because he doesn’t live out here, and so I felt kind of guilty about it. But, I couldn’t keep this going. He continued to do things that made me feel uncomfortable after I’d had long conversations about why I did not want him to do those things. He claimed he was a feminist, but made massively misogynist comments all the time. Despite the fact that we had some really fun evenings, I knew I had to shut the whole thing down.

(Not to mention he referred to his penis as “Him.” Shudder.)

Except, everything went wrong:

  1. He answered Skype naked. NAKED. So, I broke up with a naked person.
  2. He informed me that his primary had just broken up with him this week, so I felt awful…
  3. …UNTIL he tried to persuade me to dump my boyfriend and be his girlfriend…
  4. … which started with the phrase “no offense to your boyfriend, but…”
  5. He did that sketchy thing of sort of like, “oh, but we can still like talk and text and do all the stuff we were already doing, right?” (No.)

So, ah, that was my evening. I broke up with a penis.

I’m going to go eat some cookies now.

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Popcorn convinced me to watch Bob’s Burgers and at first I couldn’t get into it at all but now I’ve fully acknowledged that my game is about 100% Tina Belcher. 

In the sense that I’ve got a whole lot and absolutely none at the same time. 

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For the anon who sent the lovely “hur dur you have a giant thigh wow” message. 

I can probably squat your mother.

And I can definitely crush your stupid head. 

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I’m hanging out with Flint tomorrow.

Apparently I’ve got to clean up the mess I made in his car, which he has apparently been pointing out to people to explain exactly how it got there.

I’m hoping this strategy will keep me (relatively) safe and get me out of trouble.

Right? Right.

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It’s strange and alarming to see a body you’ve come to know in only two dimensions suddenly appear in a doorway and move. And it’s somehow comforting to be eating pizza with that person and find yourself making old jokes that now, too, seem to have abruptly become three-dimensional. 

The degree of trust that Daddy displayed in allowing me into her home and into the full-blown dimensionality of her life was I think what kept me from simply being too nervous to function. Yes, I was still massively nervous. But, I was functioning. But we had talked so much about how tumblr reduced people to facets of themselves, and it was an honor to see the full picture. 

So, to fill you in: Yeah, Daddy is 300% glitter and all heart. (I am the queen of bad puns.) And by the time we were doing makeup in front of her bathroom mirror and I was slipping into one of her shirts in an attempt to pass it off as a dress, things were starting to feel comfortable. When we settled onto the couches at her friend Cee’s club, the jitters had mostly dissipated except I got super nervous and accidentally walked behind the bar (facepalm) and then I accidentally (but fortunately) spilled half of my drink on some Montrealian attempting to pass himself off as a Frenchman (fistpump). 

During the tour of the sex club, she grabbed my hand when I suppose she noticed I was nervous. When I asked her what a spanking bench was, something told me in the look in her eyes that I’d be back over it by the end of the night.

I don’t usually like spanking all that much. It used to be my go-to kinky thing to think about and ask for, but it’s so hard to strike that balance between too hard and too soft and I guess I’m just a picky thing all too often. But, I wanted to be brave for her in front of the throngs of people in the play area.

As soon as I got up on the bench, I was too shy to look up. But, I felt safe in her hands. She knew how to talk to me in such a way that both encouraged me to enforce my limits while making me want to push them for her. She knew how to handle some dudebro who wanted in on our fun (the answer is with total sass and self-assuredness.) She knew when to go faster and when to give me a break and when to check in. It made me really enjoy spanking again with that sort of new, fresh, exciting enthusiasm I first felt the first time I’d ever been spanked. I felt shy and bold all at once. I was glowing stupidly with endorphins. 

Before I went to bed, I asked her for a kiss good night.

I fell asleep smiling.

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When I got to Sir’s stomping ground, we had to take a bus to his place.

On the bus, I was facing him and away from the driver and the other passengers. We were close to the back. Feeling a little brave and a little needy, I spread my legs and let my dress slip up. 

Sir smirked and reached out to rub my knee. I sat back and kept flashing him the whole ride.

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Oh hey.

I’ll actually be able to reach stuff tomorrow.

Because somebody’s coming!!!