It’s strange and alarming to see a body you’ve come to know in only two dimensions suddenly appear in a doorway and move. And it’s somehow comforting to be eating pizza with that person and find yourself making old jokes that now, too, seem to have abruptly become three-dimensional. 

The degree of trust that Daddy displayed in allowing me into her home and into the full-blown dimensionality of her life was I think what kept me from simply being too nervous to function. Yes, I was still massively nervous. But, I was functioning. But we had talked so much about how tumblr reduced people to facets of themselves, and it was an honor to see the full picture. 

So, to fill you in: Yeah, Daddy is 300% glitter and all heart. (I am the queen of bad puns.) And by the time we were doing makeup in front of her bathroom mirror and I was slipping into one of her shirts in an attempt to pass it off as a dress, things were starting to feel comfortable. When we settled onto the couches at her friend Cee’s club, the jitters had mostly dissipated except I got super nervous and accidentally walked behind the bar (facepalm) and then I accidentally (but fortunately) spilled half of my drink on some Montrealian attempting to pass himself off as a Frenchman (fistpump). 

During the tour of the sex club, she grabbed my hand when I suppose she noticed I was nervous. When I asked her what a spanking bench was, something told me in the look in her eyes that I’d be back over it by the end of the night.

I don’t usually like spanking all that much. It used to be my go-to kinky thing to think about and ask for, but it’s so hard to strike that balance between too hard and too soft and I guess I’m just a picky thing all too often. But, I wanted to be brave for her in front of the throngs of people in the play area.

As soon as I got up on the bench, I was too shy to look up. But, I felt safe in her hands. She knew how to talk to me in such a way that both encouraged me to enforce my limits while making me want to push them for her. She knew how to handle some dudebro who wanted in on our fun (the answer is with total sass and self-assuredness.) She knew when to go faster and when to give me a break and when to check in. It made me really enjoy spanking again with that sort of new, fresh, exciting enthusiasm I first felt the first time I’d ever been spanked. I felt shy and bold all at once. I was glowing stupidly with endorphins. 

Before I went to bed, I asked her for a kiss good night.

I fell asleep smiling.