The Mountain Goats – “You or Your Memory.”
St. Joseph’s Baby Aspirin. Bartles & Jaymes.
It’s a song about half-heartedly attempting suicide with the knowledge you aren’t actually going to die. Or, as I interpret it, trying to reap the benefits of some major life lesson without actually having to learn the lesson. Which is, ah, something I attempt on the daily.
Another song that mentions Bartles & Jaymes in a completely different context can be found here.
And some Tom Petty’s right over here.
It’s hard, because I constantly say that I don’t want to forget any experience or cast it aside because it helped shape me into the person I am today. Even if that is a person who stops and says, “fuck that. I’m never doing that shit again.”
But, here’s what I have to offer:
“Rolling in the Deep” – Adele.
I had gotten back from one of probably the most emotionally fucked up nights of my life. It was one of those situations that it honestly takes time for you to process and really chew and say that what had happened was severely fucked up. It has, since, helped me articulate my needs and really understand my self-respect.
To add to the fucked-uped-ness, the involved stated over and over how profound and deep the experience was.
Honestly, the only thing profound and deep about it was the degree to which it was fucked up.
But, at the time, I was a mess of confusion and feelings. I had been driven home and it was one of the true instances when I felt profoundly alone. I turned my Pandora on and this song came on and it just cut deep. I hadn’t begun to fully process, but the song somehow struck the right chord.
For another song I’ll be releasing to the universe, go here.
And for one I’m reclaiming because fuck that, go here.
“The stage is set
Someone’s going to do something someone else will regret
I speak in smoke signals and you answer in code
The fuse will have to run out sometime
Something here will eventually have to explode
Have to explode.”
“Things don’t look much different now from where I stand
Looking for you, camera in hand
Someone’s gone away
And someone’s gotten taller
But the world stopped turning and the universe is much smaller
Since you showed me a thing or two about power in its purest form.”
Now we see this as in a mirror dimly, then we shall see each other face to face.
“Tie those horses to the post outside
And let those glass doors open wide
And in their surface, see two young savage things
Barely worth remembering
Feast like pagans, never get enough
Sleep like dead men, wake up like dead men
And when the sun comes try not to hate the light
Someday we’ll try to walk upright
Crawl ‘till dawn on my hands and knees
God damn these bite marks, deep in my arteries.”