panties – Page 16

There’s something to be said for the height of that refrigerator and the lack of much shelving.

Sure, no one can live on whipped cream and beer alone. But something tells me it’s not the only refrigerator, although I’m sure it’s the favorite. And not for the contents.

The levels were all intentional. The placement of the beer brilliant. The whipped cream is maybe for other purposes, but it’s all just in the positioning of that beer and the way she must twist her body to retrieve it for the one she serves. The peek of the panties, the lifting of the heels, the tautness of her legs. It’s all very deliberate.

Dear Dacry,

In response to your question, I don’t think tying me up, spanking me, and feeding me cupcakes should be limited to birthdays.

Okay, fine, maybe the cupcakes part.

<3,
Your tumblr girlfriend, Ivy

It does save the gasoline that would fill those leaf-blowing tractors. How are you going green?

itsnotreallyart:

Grinding the leaves off the path.

Dear Woman with the Sexy Sleeve,

Clearly this entire dispute could have been avoided if your bottom bitch had asked nicely before taking one of your cupcakes. I can see it missing from the container. I can also see the messy girl left a little bit of frosting on the table.

I imagine you’re probably browsing the market now for a new slut. I have some wonderful references who can confirm that a) I won’t steal your cupcakes and b) I won’t make a mess. This is mostly because I will be eating said cupcakes off of you, provided you grant me permission.

As a bonus, I also am classy enough to avoid making the cupcake-muffin-vagina joke that’s begging to be made from that. But, yes, I’ll eat your muffin, too.

Thank you for your time and attention. You’ll find my resumé and references attached.

Sincerely,

Ivy

swaybound:

I have always liked that particular gesture. Bend her over and grab her cunt — “Mine!”.

But, Daddy, why are you taking this perfectly sexy picture and setting it in the fucking bathroom?

And with that, I commence “normally sexy porn ruined by the weird or inappropriate or nonsensical setting” day. Feel free to leave suggestions in the askbox.

Why Heart is my favorite:

Oh honey, big hugs. Wish they were in person. If I lived closer this is how I would distract you from all the icky-ness. xo

Updates from a pretty fascinating evening to come.

Just take a few steps forward. Good.

Now turn and look at me. Stop there. Very good.

No, no, I don’t need you to do anything else. Just stay like that, dear.

(PS: Brownie points for whoever can tell me who this total fox is.)