I’m silly sometimes.
Well, I’m silly a lot of the time.
maturity
I’ve been learning to say no.
I know this is the worst thing for someone with a sex tumblr to say. You guys probably don’t want to hear me saying no to stuff. Well, you don’t want to have to read about me turning away from potentially fun decisions.
I have a friend. A very good-looking friend. A very good-looking friend who I have, in the past, had some serious fun with. And we were planning to pick some stuff up and have a little fun. But, she’s in a relationship with someone and, despite the fact that they are trying to do polyamory, I’m not entirely sure they know exactly what they’re doing. I don’t want feelings to get hurt and I don’t want to ruin our friendship and drag down her relationship with it.
Because, above all, she’s one of my great friends. I would absolutely hate to lose her. And, while the fun we’ve had was pretty great, I need to get some priorities straight. I think I’ve made the right decision here. And, yeah, it stinks a little, but I have a feeling I’ll be glad I did this in the long-run.
In which habits are examined.
ChatDuring a conversation in which a good friend shared with me the status of his love life. And I, of course, reacted most maturely.
Him: I mean, stuff with (redacted) has been moving kind of slowly. But I’m seeing her tomorrow night, so it should be all good.
Me: (makes obscene gesture) Oh yeah?
Him: Yep.
Me: (noticing he has looked away) I like how you know not to look at me when we talk like this.
Him: You know what? I didn’t even realize I had. It’s practically subconscious at this point.
This. And every time I talk about sex with women/think about having sex with women/think about women, I feel like I am a thirteen-year-old boy. I like boobies way too much.
Every time I describe my sexual encounter with a girl, I feel like I am describing a thirteen-year-old boy’s porno fantasy.
It’s awkward.
I have this fairly interesting complex in terms of considering myself mature. I go through phases where I think I’m very mature, but in retrospect I realize I may have been acting very childish and as more of a caricature of maturity. Then I start thinking myself immature, until someone points out my maturity. It goes back and forth.