During a conversation in which a good friend shared with me the status of his love life. And I, of course, reacted most maturely.

Him: I mean, stuff with (redacted) has been moving kind of slowly. But I’m seeing her tomorrow night, so it should be all good.
Me: (makes obscene gesture) Oh yeah?
Him: Yep.
Me: (noticing he has looked away) I like how you know not to look at me when we talk like this.
Him: You know what? I didn’t even realize I had. It’s practically subconscious at this point.